Ninja –

You’re everything but lame! Support can be vastly underrated, as are positive thoughts directed to someone struggling with something, or just a little caring. I’m grateful for your engaging answer. Volunteering is a nice thing, and something I usually engage in when out of a relationship – might be that the relationships tend to take too much time to spare anything for activities non-related to the partner. As for time taken with other friends. At the moment, and especially after putting words to the emotions, it’s really nice to just be resting alone for a while. Clear the mind and gather energy. When the time is right, I most surely will change focus from what I don’t have – to what I have. What I can give, to people and contexts that appreciate what I can give. And appreciate what people and contexts can give me back.

After speaking out a little, I realize that I actually am my strongest self as single. And in some meaning, also my happiest self. Sure it’s cosy curling up with a partner and have a physical relationship. But what I think I need the most are emotional relationships. Those that can be built up between friends. And when I think about it, emotional relationships between friends seem so much easier and less dramatic than physical relationships, where you’re attached to one another in a different way.

This might well be a grieving stage (denial? Acceptance?) and these words, accompanied by the feelings of the moment, might loose their purport in the next emotional hurricane. I might rest in the eye of my chemical grieving storm right now. It’s a pretty nice place to rest in, though.

Supernovas are probably, just as you say, there because they are a normal component in the bodily reaction. I notice and refrain from judging. Noticing a body reaction without seeing it as “wrong” and something needed to be worked out and corrected, is actually pretty relieving too.

A fun fact that might not have much to do with this situation, is that I am that kind of person who, in contrast to getting stuck, tend to be a little too unattached. This is a part explanation of why I am so stunned and surprized that I get these reactions. Seems like I am a human like anybody, and that I can be sad about a separation too. Which is actually also pretty nice to have knowledge of.