the awakening
You seem to have good self-awareness and capable of coming to terms with those issues yourself. I am a people-pleaser in some situations but often a stubborn loner. I pay the price for being a loner: aloneness but not loneliness. I spend a lot of time by myself, an introvert at heart. Just my partner and my dog. It’s Ok but sometimes I think I need to stretch my comfort zones.
You sound like an extrovert and need friends around you a lot. Despite the pain, I’d say stay true to yourself. Be careful of not going the complete opposite direction- that is, from people-pleaser to conflict creator. It might take a while to get that happy medium. Good luck.

TheAwakening,

I can relate to some of what you said and I am currently trying an “how.” My how is doing a body wisdom class with a fantastic teacher. It is a Chakra balancing class and while I have only started to work on the lower 3 Chakras, the work seems to be bring about change that I can recognize. The base chakra, the Root Chakra is filled with emotions and feelings dealing with our “tribe,” not necessarily just our family, but all the things that we thought of in terms of belonging. The work is envisioning being at that chakra, with my teacher asking a series of pointed questions to help open up, mine being pretty closed, the chakra, this is combined with specific homework,journaling, walking in nature,etc., yoga asanas that help to bring energy to the chakra. In case of the Root Chakra, the Mountain Pose and Warrior pose were suggested as they provide a connection to the earth which is what the Root Chakra’s is about. It was also suggested that I try Reiki,to help to balance the lower three.It totally makes sense to me as I have a strong tendency to “be in my head” and have over the years neglected certain feelings and an awareness and appreciation for the earth. Sorry for the length, but it seems like you are hurting and in need of a change. Namaste!

More: In other words, the answer to your question is not in mere thinking- your thinking is obviously superb and if the answer was in what thinking can produce alone, then you would have already have had it. I don’t think anyone here has better thinking than you have and can answer this question.

The answer literally, scientifically is in your brain making new connections between neurons. Connections between the emotions pathways/ connections and the thinking pathways. This neural process takes time but not that long. The term is neuroplasticity, as far as I know.

So in finding the answer you will still be using your thinking, only your thinking- once connected to emotions- will have the NECESSARY resource of your awareness of your emotions to use.

Mindfulness is needed to access emotions, to build or strengthen needed pathways.

anita

Lately I’ve been struggling with intense low self esteem that has lead to depression, crippling anxiety, unhealthy habits and a lack of energy. I am very unconfident and awkward in social situations, my stomach is churning and my mind is racing right now just thinking about it. It’s as if I am afraid of people. I feel as though I never know what to say in conversations and that people think i am weird. I hate my appearance and every aspect about myself. Everyday i wake up and feel so lethargic and unmotivated. I know a lot about mediation, the law of attraction and have been reading Tiny Buddha’s self help posts and various self help books to assist in positivity. I am aware of what I need to do to change, but every time I put it into practice in my life I fail. I am bombarded with negative intrusive thoughts all day long, and try to correct distorted thinking with positive affirmations, and mediate every day. I hold onto every mistake from the past and am highly sensitive. I and have tried many different exercises and techniques to release them but its like I am trapped. Nothing seems to be effective. I just want to sleep all day, and at times I do not see a purpose for living.