Dear Anita,

{{It seems to me, and clarify this point to me, if you’d like, simply so that I can understand; it seems to me that dividing emotions or feelings (I use them here interchangeably, and I mean fear, anger, hurt, shame, joy and the many variances of these) is not a useful division or categorizing. I think this categorizing of feelings is counter productive to the goal of emotional mastery.}}

I appreciate that you share this with me, and am always ready to re-examine how I see things. I agree in general and especially in this field that labeling, analyzing, categorizing or dividing is not the ultimate and usually is counter-productive. The blog post “WHAT ARE EMOTIONS, FEELINGS AND E-QUALITIES?” ends with “These delineations are useful for practice, but ultimately un-needed. There is one consciousness — one being — and life is a mystery unfolding. All that is needed is to listen deeply and act in the flow.”

By practice, I mean as a place to start. It has been helpful for me, and when my practice is well rooted I will be glad to let go of the categorizing. It may not be the way for others. I am sharing what works for me, as it evolves.

{{Every single feeling we have has a valid message that we need to attend to. And so every single feeling is neither lower, inferior, unimportant OR higher, superior, important. When you label a feeling as a “lower feeling” regardless of the whole of what you mean by this term, the word in itself “lower” indicates inferiority.}}

Yes, this agrees with what I wrote, “To clarify, since the words ’emotions’ and ‘feelings’ are commonly used inter-changeably, I distinguish them by ‘lower’ and ‘higher.’ They are not lower and higher in value, quality or morality, but in frequency. I don’t refer to emotions as negative and positive, as that does not feel accurate. Emotions are energies in motion which serve the purpose of bridging to the higher feelings. Left unattended, emotions can stagnate and solidify in the body/mind. When having a dialogue with people who agree, I simply write emotions, feelings and eternal qualities.”

The last sentence may not have been in my response, because I copied it from the blog document rather than from the updated online version. It is saying that I only use lower and higher to communicate, since common usage inter-changes emotions and feelings as though they are the same. Quotes below as examples.

{{As you respond to this very post here, please pay attention to my request: try to have a “beginner’s mind” when processing my point and instead of repeating what you already processed before my reply, think of it as if you never considered it before. Give new thinking an opportunity to be formed, from scratch.}}

Anita, lately I have been continually giving new thinking a chance to form, from scratch. If I were to revise my writing as frequently as new thinking forms, it would seem I’d be forever editing my words. For example, today I drove into Yosemite National Park with my partner and we talked the entire way about my discussion with Joe. New insights and realizations were coming faster to both of us than I could write them down.

The quotes below give examples of how the words emotions and feelings are used inter-changeably. I feel that to communicate clearly, understanding them as distinct from each other is more useful.

“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” – Joel Osteen

“If you don’t think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days.” – Kris Carr

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” – Gretchen Rubin

“One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.” – Carl Jung

“I don’t display emotions. I have every feeling that everyone else has, but I’ve developed ways to suppress them. Anger is one of my most comfortable feelings.” – Curtis Jackson

“I believe that curiosity, wonder and passion are defining qualities of imaginative minds and great teachers; that restlessness and discontent are vital things; and that intense experience and suffering instruct us in ways that less intense emotions can never do.” – Kay Redfield Jamison

“We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict.” – Jim Morrison

“Do not give in too much to feelings. A overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

(Brainy Quotes)

The last four quotes are included as examples of views differing from mine. Curtis Jackson uses the words ’emotions’ and ‘feelings’ inter-changeably, and Jim Morrison and Johann Wolfgang von Goethe equate feelings to emotions. Kay Redfield Jamison says intense suffering instructs us.

My sense is that humanity has an opportunity in its evolution and in the global shift of consciousness, to no longer need restlessness and discontent or intense suffering. There is another way. Instead of being driven by emotions, be powered by higher feelings.

{{Your message is then, that a whole human, evolved is being a Human Being, not a Human Doing. Attending to the moment, being mindful, not reacting to “lower feelings” or “negative feelings”- anger from irritation to rage, I suppose; hurt, sadness, I suppose. And instead adopting the “higher/Positive/ evolved feelings like humility, curiosity, peace and such.}}

Anita, I have no message as such but like ‘a whole human, evolved is being a Human Being, not a Human Doing.’ and have used the same phrase in communication.

{{Gaining emotional mastery then, is switching from the lower to the higher. Am I correct so far, in a nut shell?}}

Well, there we go again with lower and higher. I avoid those terms, using them only when it feels necessary to be clear in meaning since emotions and feelings are commonly equated.

{{Talking about nuts, the ground squirrel, he/she going after the popcorn in the yurt, that is a lower feeling? The hunger and motivation to get to the popcorn?}}

The squirrel is self-actualized as a squirrel. He/she is acting upon the instincts that are part of its natural design. I have not facilitated a circle of squirrels to learn more, but sense that squirrel-kind has no need or potential to evolve consciously.

Dear Gary:

{{I am having a difficulty communicating with you because, as I see it, your are defending a theory you have that is not open to discussion. I asked you to think from scratch, but you are not. So at this point, I am blocked.}}

Anita, help me understand what you mean by thinking from scratch, and how I am defending a theory.

{{To be specific: you believe that in some instances, it is correct to refer to feelings as higher and lower. }}

Something is blocked, I agree. I have repeatedly written that the only reason I used ‘higher’ and ‘lower’ is to clarify, since the words ’emotions’ and ‘feelings’ are commonly used inter-changeably. Nothing I write is meant to be taken rigidly.

{{ It is not effective for me to argue with you and I don’t desire to attempt to prove you wrong. So you are set with your beliefs and I don’t share those beliefs.}}

Anita, if that is how you see it, that is okay.

{{I believe it is never the case, never true. I believe that fear, for example can save your life if you are in true danger, motivate you to react quickly and effectively to real danger, and so, it is as high or valid an emotion as can be! No other emotion can possibly be higher when confronting real danger. Feeling humility, when confronted with real danger, is going to get you dead, so what is the high value of humility then.}}

As I wrote earlier, if I were talking with people who had a common understanding of the meanings of such words as fear, emotions and feelings, I would communicate differently. For example, one of the therapists in the organization where I was house parent referred to ‘good anger.’ I did not feel that his use of what seemed like rage in the closed circle the boys were forced to sit in was ‘good.’ I told him I did not buy it and would rather use ‘resolute will’ than anger. I do not buy it that fear, as it is commonly understood, can be good. I would say instead ‘heightened awareness’ or ‘alertness.’

{{When you feel fear and there is no real danger, fear is a leftover from past experiences of perceived real danger, commonly from childhood. It is a fear that keeps circulating in the brain causing problems and it needs to be processed on one hand, while the skill of not identifying with it, and instead observing it, needs to be learned and practiced.}}

Like you, I do not want to try to prove anyone wrong. I have no need to be right. I am simply expressing my experiences, observations, evolving conclusions. And I am always open to integrating the portions of participant responses which feel ‘right’ to me.

{{Regarding the squirrel, it doesn’t act from instinct alone. It does have emotions, and all its emotions, like our emotions, are valid, and none is superior to any other. }}

That all emotions are ‘valid’ is the common view, I know. I have been proposing new ways of seeing to provoke new thought, thinking from scratch and not from historical beliefs. My writing is not based on any education, tradition, or systematized way of thinking. I do not defend it, as it is continually being revised. I do not expect or want anyone to ‘buy into’ it. It can be taken or left. As I wrote above, I am always open to integrating what others have to say, when it feels right, into my way of seeing. That is another reason for starting a discussion.

Interesting about the squirrel. My response was to shoo it out of the yurt, which was not effective because it kept returning. The squirrel had no fear. My partner put food outside the yurt and it ate voraciously. Popcorn, cereal, two slices of bread. She then noticed the squirrel is lactating and we understood the pregnant squirrel’s hunger. And yes, she probably was emotional in her drive to get food. I am not sure how that benefited her, but certainly do not judge her for it. My partner pointed out some of the fallacy of my thinking, such as the squirrel has no need or potential to consciously evolve. We had a good exchange talking about the group soul of squirrels and the oneness of consciousness.

Kindly,

Gary