Dear JFlow:

Intuition means the ability to understand something quickly, without the need to use logic. It is based on feelings and prior experience. Often enough we don’t decipher correctly the true message behind what we feel. For example, we may feel disliked by a particular person following that person’s facial expression while in reality that person is having stomach pains, which is all what his facial expression was about.

It reads to me that there is lack of organization and accountability at your workplace. Therefore there is guessing going on, delays, unnecessary lack of predictability and lots of opportunities for random occurrences to have power where they should not. As well as workplace politics.

As in my example, people’s actions and reactions are more likely to be about them than about you. It is their thoughts, their feelings that are most important to them. Try to be as calm as you can be and observe what is going on from as an objective place as you can muster.

When distressed, postpone such observations and evaluations of what-is-going-on, take time out. We think our best when we are calm.

anita

Dear JFlow:

You wrote that you are “always getting beaten doing or saying something…like I did something to deserve negative treatment”- as long as you are alive, you will be “doing or saying something” and unfortunately, for the same duration of time, at times, you will be either observing or personally experiencing “negative treatment” by someone. But the two are not necessarily linked. You are not necessarily the cause of negative treatment; it is not necessarily something you said or did wrong. Mistreatment, injustice happen anyway you talk and behave.

You can talk and behave as perfectly as you can but mistreatment will happen when someone else is angry at something or someone else. Or if someone else is not paying attention or doesn’t care about the consequences of their actions.

Maybe you should be “more careful with my words with people”, for example, if you share personal issues with employees, information of the kind that has been used against you in the past, better not do that again.

anita