Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Holding Back Due to Fear and Anxiety
- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by Big blue.
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May 7, 2014 at 6:25 am #55946LoveParticipant
For three in a half years I have been living a life full of fear and anxiety. I graduated from college and socially interacted and got along well with many people throughout my life and have had overall great relationships. However, after graduation I held back from job offers due to very important commitments. After such a long time of not being able to gain any experiences, I feel that I no longer am the competent and knowledgeable person I used to be. I always feel inadequate and not good and smart enough for anything and everything and even work related. In addition, I now have social phobia. I also fear of rejections, failures, and discouragements and I know how it feels because I have been through a lot of them in life from family, friends, and people in general. I have been applying for jobs, but unfortunately, have not been called. And I believe it has to do with my lack of work experience. I am worried because I am getting older and I know how competitive the world is getting and how stressful life is right now. It is important for me to have a job and to be able to succeed on my own without depending on others. I feel that I have so much potential yet I am still holding back because of all these negative thoughts and emotions that can’t seem to go away. I just wanted to know what your inputs are in trying to overcome fear and anxiety and to lead a successful life.
May 7, 2014 at 4:12 pm #55971Happy PoochParticipantI suggest that while waiting for interviews, you can practice interviewing by asking friends to do mock interviews with you so that you can practice answering questions to potential interview questions, and at the same time reseraching other interview tips. There are tons online. Also, since you mentioned lack of experience, may I also suggest doing a little volunteer work in the industry that you are interested in getting a job in? I actually did this right after college while working at a minimum-wage fast food place and the volunteer work paid off because that was what I used as experience to land an entry level job. The volunteer experience will also allow you to meet new people, friends and make business/professional connections that may help you land a job. It will also allow you to practice dealing with people in the work place to hopefully help you with overcoming fear and anxiety. Hope this helps, and I wish you well 🙂
May 8, 2014 at 1:15 am #55991AnonymousInactiveinternships, volunteering, fellowship programs for young people etc etc – anything that will improve your resume and add some meaningful skills. keep giving interviews, practicing. its not easy for anyone these days. dont give up hope 🙂 you’ll be okay
May 8, 2014 at 1:32 am #55992Big blueParticipantHi Love,
What excites you? What can you do to use your talents? In your job search, have you tried working with staffing companies? They can coach you and they have relationships at companies. Also find other ways to network. Take some time to meet a couple recruiters. Take the advice from the people you meet like homework. Do the homework and then get back in touch with them and say what progress you made, your thoughts and ask more questions. My first professional job took 12 contacts with the hiring manager. He said read books I read books. He said join a professional society I joined a professional society. He hired me under a direct contract and gave me a lot of feedback on my initial work. I took the feedback (a lot of red pen ink) and did better. Go ahead and try something.
For anxiety, are you having some success with anything? Maybe CBT? Are there ways you can ease into social situations You are not alone as many people struggle and have anxiety and fear. It is ok to try and fail. You learn from it. One of the things you learn is how to cope with uncomfortable experiences. Not to put pressure on you to become famous, but to make my point, google “famous people who struggled”. Also google about “grit”.
Are you doing things that are fun? Music? Bird watching? Cooking? Volunteering? Spiritual? Travel? Sports? Hobbies? Skills? Ask people what they do outside of work. Listen twice as much as you talk. Ask more questions. Conversations lead to human interest and connection which builds relationships which lead to a fulfilling life with a good job and the rest.
Does this make sense to you? These are small but real steps you can take that leverage skills you learned in school, add new approaches and bring you forward.
Big blue
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