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HELP! I screwed up with a good woman!

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Viewing 8 posts - 31 through 38 (of 38 total)
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  • November 15, 2020 at 1:40 pm #369363
    Danny
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I just posted a long post. You can read. I think there must be a time difference. Thank you for your concern and interest. I’m not sure to be honest where I go from here..what do you think?

     

    November 15, 2020 at 3:21 pm #369366
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Danny:

    I read it all, your post had the feel of a romantic novel, complete with the beautiful images of London: I remember Hyde park (I visited it as well as the other beautiful parks of London), St Pancras, and EL & N in London and  Luton (I googled).

    Reads to me that the meeting was very successful. You made your amends, she accepted and it is done. She didn’t make it difficult for you.

    From your description, B seems amazing, an evolved woman, uniquely insightful, intelligent, empathetic..  amazingly mentally healthy and emotionally resourceful and generous.

    “She said she .. had old fashioned beliefs… She said being with me had just confirmed what she wanted if the next time she was to spend a lot of emotional effort and investment on somebody. She knew she was at a stage in her life she would only date to marry… On the return journey.. she kind of leaned her head on my shoulder”-

    – She would “only date to marry”- this means that if you are ready to consider getting married, and if you see her as your future wife… maybe???

    anita

    November 16, 2020 at 2:41 am #369378
    Danny
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    Thank you so much for your insight. She is everything you described and more. I agree she could have made it difficult, she had every right to!

    Last year we went to Winter Wonderland which is a Christmas time fairground. It was nice to hear she still has some fond memories amongst the turmoil I caused.

    Tbh I do want to be with her longterm but right now want the chance to rediscover her. I think proposing marriage off the bat wouldn’t work, would it?

     

    November 16, 2020 at 7:09 am #369388
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Danny:

    You are most welcome. My optimism was not unrealistic, regarding a possible relationship with her, reading how she has “some fond memories” of her experience with you, and kind of leaning her head on your shoulder yesterday.

    “I think proposing marriage off the bat wouldn’t work, would it?”- it may very well work because she told you that she is old fashioned and that she “would only date to marry“.

    Proposing is of course very personal. In my daily communication here with members from all over the world, over more than five and a half years, I don’t think I ever mentioned or suggested to a member to propose. I made an exception in your case because .. over all these 5.5 years here, and in my personal  life otherwise, I never read about/ met a person, male or female, as emotionally healthy, insightful, kind, generous etc. as this woman is, according to your descriptions from the beginning of your posting.

    If this is how she really is, if your description is not fictional (it crossed my mind simply because I never came across such a person)- then .. what are the chances you ever come across a woman like this again?

    anita

    November 18, 2020 at 12:15 pm #369558
    Danny
    Participant

    Hi Anita

    Thanks for your optimism. The positive vibes helped! You are 100% correct I don’t think I will ever come across someone with her kind of soul or character. So it would be foolish to let her slip through my fingers without trying. I don’t want to propose for two reasons it may look desperate and if I did propose which if she gave me a chance I’m highly likely to do sooner rather than later, I feel given the classy lady she is, she deserves a special proposal. I’m going to call her Friday. Will keep you updated.

     

    Thanks for your sterling advice!

    Danny

    November 18, 2020 at 1:18 pm #369564
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Danny:

    You are welcome. I will be looking forward to your Friday/ weekend update.

    anita

     

     

    November 18, 2020 at 2:27 pm #369568
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Danny:

    I re-read what you posted today: “I don’t want to propose .. (I) may look desperate… I don’t want to just say hey, let’s get married. I will.. take it at her pace with no pressure.. and not be a dick about the home run, wait until she is ready.. I .. want her to experience my romantic side, build that romantic attraction.. wine and dine her, spoil her, build those butterflies in her. Re discover her properly.. please keep everything crossed for me.. say a little prayer!!”-

    – if you were sincere about your extensive appreciation of B (“she accepted me before I accepted myself. She cared for me, she encouraged growth… she had abundant of qualities you want in a partner when your bones are old and worn”, and more), if you thought she is indeed as wonderful as you presented her to be- then you wouldn’t think or feel that proposing to her would make you look desperate. Instead, you would think that proposing to her would make you look strong and wise.

    What you want to do instead or proposing to her- to wine and dine her, to build those butterflies in her and wait until she is ready, rediscover her.. sounds a lot like you wanting to have sex with her, it sounds like you still being the dick you admitted you were but suggested that you are no longer that.

    You wrote earlier that she told you only a few days ago that “she was at a stage in her life she would only date to marry”-  and you are disrespecting what she told you.

    I am now withdrawing from your thread. I will no longer reply to you here or anywhere. I hope you do learn and become a better and better person, and I wish the same for B.

    anita

     

    November 18, 2020 at 2:44 pm #369569
    Danny
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I really don’t appreciate your fickle assumptions about me. I know I have been a dick but there’s no need to keep putting me down for it. I feel disgusted with how I treated her and have no intention of hurting her in that manner again. I’m a man so naturally we are physical beings so I may make the odd remark like she looked hot or I had the feels, but getting back with her will mean I have no intention of having sex with her until she is ready and I’m happy to wait and follow any conditions she stipulates even if that’s marriage. Every woman deserves to be swept off her feet so I was stating I’d be romantic, take her on dates, get to know each other properly and build up to a surprise proposal instead of saying to her off the bat I want to marry you. It’s what she deserves. I’m not going to further explain myself to you. I know I did wrong but I’ve grown. I don’t need you to judge me and further make me feel like shit.

    Thank you for your time and responses in the past.

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