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Help I don't know how to Adult

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • January 16, 2017 at 6:50 pm #125489
    Tailor
    Participant

    How do you start?
    I’m so messed up I don’t even know where to start.
    There’s so much in this life I don’t know about.
    How do you know what you’re supposed to do with your life?
    What influences you?
    Should i continue to “live it up” (binge drink, with friends of course) OR should i start being an adult OR am i already one? (20)
    Part of me would like to throw on a couple pairs of nipple covers and undies, hop on an old wagon and run away? Is that possible? Am i being unrealistic?

    Thanks for any help, i know that this might be difficult to respond to but i just don’t know.

    January 16, 2017 at 8:20 pm #125498
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tailor:

    Start in the beginning, when you were a young child- what was your childhood like? How did your parents treat you?

    anita

    January 16, 2017 at 9:10 pm #125502
    Tailor
    Participant

    My childhood..
    My parents divorced when I was young, so my mom worked really hard to provide for my brother and I. Soon after she was diagnosed with bowel cancer, she struggled for years. I learned to do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and took care of my brother. My mom met her now husband when I was around 5, as she was sick on and off throughout my childhood they would seperate and get back together several times. There were a few instances where her now husband would lose it. I came to a point where I knew I couldn’t love him in high school. He was very angry and had grabbed me and threw me across the room, it seemed supernatural. For a moment I laid on the ground shocked, then stood up ran to my bedroom and locked my door. My mom banged on the door trying to come in but I didn’t let anyone in. She got angry and told me I deserved it, I know she didn’t mean it she was just scared of him. Later in high school Moved in with my brother and his girlfriend and then moved out on my own when they broke up. Eventually due to financial strain and mental health issues I had no choice but to move back in with my mom and her husband.

    January 17, 2017 at 6:49 am #125517
    Peter
    Participant

    Age has very little to do with being an adult. For me I think becoming an adult involves taking responsibility for who we are and learning how to nurture and discipline ourselves as we strive to reach the best of ourselves.

    The following book may be of interest
    How to Be an Adult: A Handbook on Psychological and Spiritual Integration by David Richo

    January 17, 2017 at 9:42 am #125531
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tailor:

    Your questions and possible answers:

    1. How do you start?- examine your childhood.

    2. How do you know what you’re supposed to do with your life? What influences you? – look at what influenced you so far and use what you learned so far in your present life. What influenced you was violence (being thrown against the room) and betrayal (your mother saying you deserved it). What you are supposed to do is protect yourself from violence and intend to associate with people worthy of your trust, people who will not betray you.

    3. Should i continue to “live it up” (binge drink, with friends of course) OR should i start being an adult OR am i already one? (20)- binge drinking didn’t work for you, otherwise you wouldn’t have posted this thread. So the answer is: intend to discontinue binge drinking. Should you be an adult? Not the adult that your mother’s husband is, and not the adult your mother is. Be a loving adult, not a violent, aggressive and disloyal adult. Be a loving adult to the child part of you. He needs it.

    4. Part of me would like to… run away? Is that possible? Am i being unrealistic?- running away from the home of your mother and her husband is a good idea, but don’t run, walk, so you are stable on your feet and you can see where you are going. It is you being realistic, to plan to walk away.

    anita

    January 18, 2017 at 3:42 pm #125661
    –
    Participant

    Hi Taylor,
    Binge drinking won’t bring you the clarity that you’re looking for.
    Surrounding yourself with people who accept you as you are, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself, could be an important first step in living a more fulfilling life.
    Is there anyone you want to reconnect with?

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