I apologize in advance for the long post. I am an extremely sensitive over thinker who has battled anxiety and depression all my life (I’m in my 30s). I’m on medication that helps me cope and actually have quite a happy life. I am happily married with a 5 year old son; we have our own house in a small town and a dog. I have good relationships with my parents and extended family and we all have our health where it really counts. I am very, very blessed. Despite this, I torture myself daily with thoughts of inadequacy. Most of this surrounds my work. I’m a graphic designer but have never been confident in my abilities. Throughout high school, college and 12 years in the work force I get to a point where I feel so intimidated and overwhelmed by my own thoughts that I just shut down and don’t care. Then I stress eat (which causes health issues), have panic attacks and somehow push through enough to keep going. I really don’t like the job that I’m currently in. 8 years ago I left a job that I liked for the most part and felt like I was fairly good at to take this current job because I needed to make more money. I knew right off the bat that I wasn’t going to like this job, I cried every day the first week. But I did what I had to do at the time. 8 years later I’m still unhappy – I’m either stressed & anxious (when given a task I worry I won’t do well) or am bored (when given an easy but dull task). I sit at my desk and imagine what my boss is thinking of me – and I procrastinate, which makes things worse. I watch the clock all day and it’s a relief when I can go home. Then it starts all over again the next day. I’ve very frustrated with myself because I’m fully aware that the insecurities, projecting and procrastination come from inside my head. In addition to medication I’ve tried yoga, meditation, hypnosis, acupuncture, tapping, you name it. I feel like the only thing that would give me relief would be to just quit my job. I dream of being home, where I feel comfortable and happy. I’d love to be able to be there to put my son on and off the bus instead of him getting on & off at daycare. But not working is not responsible financially and I would feel like a failure and guilty for not working. The thought of looking for another job sends me right into a panic attack. If I’m not good enough for a job I hate no one would ever hire me for a better one, right? I’m open to working in another field – one that would be more fulfilling for me – but I can’t think of anything I’d be good at. Which brings me right back to where I am – sitting at my desk feeling increasing miserable. I also feel guilty because I know that I’m lucky to have a job and it’s not like I’m being mistreated or anything. My brain is just a mess. I welcome anyone’s insight on how to potentially get off this merry-go-round. Thank you!