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HELP Am I in a relationship but still in love with my ex? Cant figure it out!

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Viewing 15 posts - 271 through 285 (of 290 total)
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  • October 1, 2018 at 11:17 am #228445
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Yeah I guess in those moments of vulnerability I disconnect.

    October 1, 2018 at 11:24 am #228451
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    A turning point would be to connect when vulnerable. Easier said than done and you might need help doing that, such as in psychotherapy. But key is to express when feeling vulnerable to a person you trust to be empathetic to you, respectful and empathetic.

    anita

    November 12, 2018 at 6:11 am #236499
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    How are you?

    anita

    November 12, 2018 at 12:37 pm #236543
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Hi there!

    I’m good.

    I got that job I told you about back in the city I used to live in!

    I kept my car, idk if I mention that but that was a big decision I had to make.

    I’m still dating John. Ugh. I love him. I can’t stand it. Im being patient and either I’m going to get the result I want or I don’t and I can’t move on to my next relationship and not have the “what if” hanging over my head.

    His effort is slightly lacking. It’s hard for him because I don’t live there. Small disconnect.

    But im here m-f now so we shall see if things change a bit. If not I have accepted that I may just have to move on.

    I’m 10 weeks into a healthy routine 20lbs down.

    My jobs pays really really well so I’m not super concerned about money these days.

    Not dating anyone else other than John though.  i think I told u me and Hunt had a falling out officially. But he contacted me a few weeks ago trying to get back cool. I told him how I felt about him and told him to leave me alone. Haven’t heard from Glen anymore BUT! I didn’t creep on his Facebook and notice he had just changed his profile photo. It was a shot of him at a restaurant eating….my favorite restaurant…like there’s never a version of life where he’d go there and not think of me…he doesn’t even like their food lol! So I think that was a hint at me.

    I try to meet knew ppl no catches for me yet.

    Thats about all I have going on right now.

    All I really do these days is drive, work, workout, cook, watch netflix, and sleep haha…see John.

     

    • This reply was modified 6 years ago by Jenny Lynn.
    November 12, 2018 at 2:27 pm #236559
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    Good to read from you, I am glad you replied to me so soon.

    Congratulations for the job, for keeping your car and for your healthy routine and losing weight!

    I am still glad Glenn is in the past and I do hope that somehow John will work out because unlike Glenn he doesn’t go  out of his way to make you miserable and I appreciate that, lol. I wish he got serious though.

    It is a good thing your job pays well. Save your money, focus on your career, very, very… very important, it will give you a way better return on investment than your relationships with men so far.

    anita

    November 12, 2018 at 3:44 pm #236583
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Yeah I actually just remembered to bring it up. We always talk about my male relationships. But I have a friendship issue. Me and my best friend of almost 7 and a half years just stopped talking. Like she almost ghosted me. I hung out with her April 6th and then after that he reply’s and things were shaky and sparse. I haven’t seen her since then. Talked to her on the phone and haven’t exchanged a text since end of May. Both our birthdays just recently passed and she told me Happy Birthday ….I didn’t respond. I didn’t tell her on hers either.

    My feelings about it are a lot yet I don’t know really what to do about it. It’s a longer story than this. But I’m tired and don’t feel like typing too much more.

    However, I was looking for a large coffee cup today (random I know)  but I grabbed this one and it was a Christmas gift from her this year that just passed I think. It says “We have to be best friends forever because you already know to much” that was always a joke between us.

    I thought to myself this morning. Oh how things change.

    I don’t know how to feel about it sometimes.

    John says it’s crap because we haven’t talked. But to me what is there to really talk about?

    nothing happened I just felt like she wanted to be left alone. Or her friendship with me was no longer c convenient for her to invest in. Idk. But I’d been feeling that way for a while.

    But yeah it’s a lot

    November 13, 2018 at 6:59 am #236653
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    Who can we depend on? Can’t depend (looking back) at what your friend said via the message  on the  mug. Definitely couldn’t depend on Glenn’s  love for you as he turned against  you repeatedly.

    We all need social connections, and I remember  how important to you it is to be loved by a man. Keeping this in mind, I would say: notice how nice it is to depend on a paycheck, depend on the automatic deposit of it in your bank account, in most cases this is way, way more dependable that friendships and relationships. Every month, there it is, that sweet deposit. This is why I say, focus on your job, make it a career.

    anita

    November 13, 2018 at 9:58 am #236717
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    So I should just not care?

    November 13, 2018 at 10:55 am #236727
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    Care first and foremost about showing up to work  on time, rested  and refreshed, do a good job, learn so to do an even better job next, aim at a lifetime career, care for that paycheck, for saving money and  making a better life for yourself. Care about being an ethical worker, an ethical person (do-n0-harm), and as a secondary part  to your life, aim at friendships and a love relationship. Make the  first a necessity, the highest  priority and the second a second priority, a plus, not a necessity. I think this attitude and focus will work best for you.

    anita

    December 24, 2018 at 9:28 am #270761
    Anonymous
    Guest

    M E R R Y     C H R I S T M A S,    J E  N N Y    L Y N N    !!!

    anita

    December 27, 2018 at 1:04 pm #271167
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Merry Christmas Anita !! 🙂

    December 28, 2018 at 4:58 am #271237
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thank you, Jenny Lynn and a Happy New Year, hope 2019 is a good year for you!

    anita

    January 9, 2019 at 11:31 am #273463
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Well its a new year and I am looking forward to greener pastures.

    I am still dating John, Lorrrrrd. lol

    Nothing official yet. But truthfully its not what I want right now anyways.

    I am working on my patience and gratitude. Even though he isnt giving me exactly what I THINK I want doesn’t mean there is something wrong with our relationship.

    I am open to being with people other than him I just prefer him. He makes me feel safe and comfortable and even if he doesnt alway match my energy I dont feel like I am in a bad place with him.

    I want natural progression and feelings

    Its really other peoples opinions that effect me the most. That innate thing like I feel  I should be with him or we should be more blah blah blah, is just me being impressionable to the opinions of others and what they think.

    Right now for me I can be with him or without him and that is a good feeling for me.

    I will be ok, but if I got to decide right now I would pick him.

    But I dont want to pick anyone right now, I am dating, I talk to other people, I am making a valorous attempt at seeing whats out there.

    A female he dates contacted me last week. I was really proud abt how little it effected me. She gave me her spiel and I just told her simply, I can understand why you are upset but I dont have anything to be upset about.

    Me and him have a pretty open line of communication these days, if I want to know something I ask and vice versa. We stopped sleeping together back when my birthday happened because to me that was just another headache. I dont need to be sleeping with him if I am not in a relationship with him. Like that girl, if I was still sleeping with him it would probably mad me more upset because it may have been him being deceptive or something. But no, Im dating a guy who we have decided mutally we see other people. So as far as what she thinks or thought I cant feel her feelings cuz I dont have those kind of bets up for him anymore. There would have been a time I KNOW I would have been so bothered by that. But I know at the end of the day whatever happens between me and him will happen. Everything always comes out and if he isnt for me I will just move on with my life.

    Nexxxxxxxxxxt topic. lol

    I am seeing a better view of life these days. So I kind of just let things indirect to me fall off my shoulders ya know.

    January 9, 2019 at 12:25 pm #273475
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jenny Lynn:

    So  good to read from you!

    So you are dating John but not sleeping with him, and the two of you are dating other people, or you are open to date  others. And  it  is satisfactory for you, so it reads good to me. Never mind “the opinions of others and what they think”. They can mind their opinions and thoughts in the context of their lives, their choices… not yours.

    It  is interesting how common it  is that other people judge negatively the choices of others as a detour from judging their own choices in  life. Know what I mean?

    I like your “better view of life these days”!

    anita

    January 9, 2019 at 1:05 pm #273483
    Jenny Lynn
    Participant

    Yeah its crazy how much we let what other people think effect what goes on in our lives. Because it a threefold situation. I feel that unspoken pressure and I in turn put pressure on my relationship which pushed John away and then we dont get together because its like I am trying to force things.

    That isnt what I want. I dont just want John without any context for how he actually treats me and what our lives will be together. I want the man that is for me and wants me. If that isnt John it just isnt.

    But as far as feeling like there is a timeline for when me and him get together or scaling that “he should know already” like I said Im wanting him to do something that I dont even know if I want. I’ve came to realize I am here with him because he brings me more happiness and has the potential for a succesful relationship more than any previous guy I have dated I feel the best with him. But WHO HE IS, am I okay with that. I love him I do, but its not end all be all anymore. I told him recently, I think he harps on the idea of thinking I want to be with him so badly and the black and white truth is I DONT. I was like who you are to me right now is not someone I want to be in a relationship with. You know that saying dont think a couch will stop being a couch when you get into a relationship. Thats how I feel. People start relationships because things are so good DATING that you want it to be more committed and go further. You want more of what you are getting. Him, as we are right now. I cant say that, I told him he needs to be someone I want to date as well. It isnt all about him, I want more of him…but not in this context SO, IF I did start a relationship with him, to expect anything other than what I get now would be silly of me. He has to be worthy of being with me as well. ANDDDDD if he doesnt by the time someone else comes along well I guess we will all deal with the consequences of that situation. lol

    —–

    I am still living with my mom. Trying to get my finances in order, I dont know exactly how long my stay will be now. I was hoping May but who knows.

    I just need to make sure that I have my credit balances paid off by the time I want to go to school.

    Ive really been visualizing my entrepreneurship potential I try not to let it distract me though.

    I need to prepare to take this test in Nov.

    This is a very big year for me, a lot of important preparatory things that need to go right.

    ————–

    health wise, Ive got a okkkkk handle on my weight and eating healthy. Im starting a dietbet next week to lose 60lbs in 6 months and I’ll bet myself $100 a month =$600 invested and I’ll win $1950 if I do it ORRRR lose my money haha.

    Talk about motivation when that 4am alarm goes off. But that will put me back at the size I was when I lost weight back in 2015/16. So achievable nothing crazy. Ive already lost 45 since april. so July would be 105 thats alot. I was super freaking fat though Glen had me out here looking crazy hahaha.

    —–

    But yeah; my job is as well going good. Hopefully is permanent! cross your fingers!

     

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