Yeah I didn’t think about it like that….

But I am just not in the space to be able to make a move like that right now especially monetarily. Either way I know I would be just as annoyed with it all because I would be at my moms driving a hour and a half to work everyday working 11 hours of work and yeah thats just way too much. My plan is to cope till the 31st and after really ironing out my plans I am in a sort of  in a upper mood. I have something I am looking forward too.

Yesterday he made this big dramatic ass display of “getting his stuff together” so EXTRAAAA.

Best friend was like “dude dont let him stifle you…he is trying to get to you right now, hes trying to get you to come to him… probably because of me being here he knows that kind of made you happy and he wants you sad and shit. Dont even give him a reaction.”

At first it did take me back a little when I walked in the house because he had taken the curtains down and stuff. We have these really nice blackout curtains that are his and he knows I like it dark. We have them in the bedroom and livingroom (He has been sleeping in LR). I dont know what had him in his feelings. I saw all his stuff around and it just seemed like yeah hes getting all his stuff together but you touching the stuff I generally use. The curtains just annoyed the crap out of me because honestly if hes there when I get home today….he is  literally dramatic as hell. Oscar worthy, because Anita look…he has all his crap out. As if he really about to do something. Like stuff out of the cubbie storage under our bed and everything. It was almost like he wanted to disrupt my comfort by trying to take things he knows I use and use “getting my stuff together” as the excuse. It all overwhelmed me momentarily. Best friend and me had just came back from brunch; and he had left before we had left to do that so coming back in and seeing that, just got me off guard. Which I guess is what he wanted. But when they both were gone I cried for a second. Washed my face and took a old blanket and tacked it up on the wall in my room… As I said nothing in here wont happen just because he’s being a child today. Because to me regardless of people mindsets on moving. If you are going to continue to be living here for 11 days which he probably will (but shock me please lol) the curtains would be the last thing to go…because we sleep everyday. He makes no sense…whats he gon pack next his toothbrush lol..So as I said just a few sentences ago…why have all this junk out yesterday in the open if not to be putting it in your car today to take it somewhere….so we shall see in a hour 2.5hrs when I get home. Cuz if its the same as I left. He was just trying to bug me…for whatever reason.

But it felt so good to see him see me overcome even just the curtains you know. Because I KNOW he knows how much that bothered me. Especially because I had got upset when I came in he knows I would have wanted to get in bed, you know. But when he came in I had the door shut because I wanted him to have to work for it..force him to physically have to open the door to see me (*in the bright room with no curtain* like he left it, right…). He came in like he had to grab something and I just saw on his face when he saw the room dark..like “shoot she got around that” and then the cherry on top was seeing him 2 hours later when I got up I look in that BRIGHT ASS livingroom he couldnt help himself but take the curtains down from…he is in there on the couch with a blanket over his face trying to take  a nap. I just though to myself….now who look retarded lol

I dont know if you know about snapchat. but he deleted me off there today. Idc because he has done it before in other conflicts so that really didnt phase me.

But dang man I could only be so blessed as to walk in my house at 4:45 and see that he left….pridelessly my baby ass would cry. But at this point its like are you trying to hurt me?..because I am already that….. soooo if Im not getting an apology can you just GO ON

All of this has been drama so not really no…just that without the rose colored glasses some of the things he does are truly ridiculous comedy to me.

To the person who doesn’t love him these things are obvious. But I am usually to busy reacting to the button he tries to press then actually looking at all the trouble he is going thru just trying to make me feel some kind of way….so yes. Yes! that is a insightful way to look at it.

What if he put just as much effort in these moments into wanting to see me happy. I wish he wanted me happy too. As a women we all know the very unoriginal yet go to ways any man can make it clear that 1. he is sorry 2. you are missed and valued and 3. you arent going anywhere without him…lol

..sadly I think he is experiencing it the way you described above. Maybe thats the only way he can cope…I mean think about it..if he cant focus on me and what I am doing over these days that bother him…He would actually have to think about what he did to contribute to us being in this situation not just looking for more ammunition to validate the feelings hes is having.

Thing is…I already know mutually what went on here. So I can go directly to “I am sad about the present!”. He is too busy trying to validate his want to truthfully “NOT CARE”

What will be a shame is that when he blinks and realizes he spent so much time doing this, trying to hold on to his pride, trying to make some point.. that he actually didn’t realize how important I am to him and by then I’ll be over it because of how he is acting.

Thing about me is..its really really hard lol to not like me during a break up. I’m too nice.. I mean I am a nice person overall but really; since we have already had one conflict and now our relationship is over why would I continue to be in your way. So EVERYTHING I do generally is ultra polite, I just stay out of the way of anything to provoke more conflict (which would fuel him and his rationale at this time) I just say screw it. If he says something to me and I feel he has a attitude, your gf would have a come back. Not your gf….is saying ok and going back in the room because I AM NOT about to argue with him.

Yet also I have to acknowledge that he truthfully could just really not care. Crazy and hard to believe but maybe he had enough too..who knows?

He came to me days ago and ask “So you arent going to do anything that would keep me from getting my deposit back”

I looked at him crazy like “uhmm? no. why you ask that”

he said “just asking”