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Heartbroken

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  • #50922
    ALN
    Participant

    I’ve been going through something like this recently as well so I understand. It is so difficult losing someone so close, but each new day gets you closer to being healed so have hope. This site has been so instrumental in helping me deal with and sort through all my emotions and thoughts. If you haven’t already, I’d just go through all the posts and see what you can relate to. For me in the beginning, I had a lot of anger towards her. I hated her for what she did to me. I resented all the times she disappointed me. I wished I could just erase her from my memory. I focused a lot on the negative because that’s what I normally do when I feel rejected. But those are emotions that don’t help with the healing process. The most important thing that I’ve learned is that forgiveness is the best path to go down. I read this one post on here that really struck a chord with me where they said if you are feeling angry at the other person, just say “I forgive her. I forgive myself. I send love to the both of us.” It has helped me so much. I’ve learned to go through my emotions and experience them instead of just filing them away in my head. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel hurt. It’s okay to miss them. If the emotions just got too unbearable, I would journal. So what I’ve learned going through this whole process is that I’m no longer scared and I have hope for myself because for once in a long long time, I am pretty happy with who I am. I still have a lot to deal with, but I know that I’m growing as a person and that’s the most important part of all this.

    • This reply was modified 11 years, 2 months ago by ALN.
    • This reply was modified 11 years, 2 months ago by ALN.
    #51002
    Mark
    Participant

    Irene and Allan,
    I am sorry for your pain. Losing a close relationship sucks. I think this is one of the universal experiences.

    I like your idea Allan for I find that whenever I am inspired to write/blog/journal I feel sucky (except when I respond to postings like this *grin*). This lets out what is churning inside.

    Robert Frost’s quote, “The best way out is always through.” This says to me is not to avoid our pain, sadness and grief. We need to acknowledge it, be with it and eventually we will move through it.

    Grieving for a loss, any loss cannot be rushed or made better on a timetable. This is the Eightfold Path of Buddhism (I believe since I am not a student).

    I invite you to give yourself grace and love and patience.

    Take care for both of you.

    Metta,
    Mark

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