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healing after casual hook up

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  • October 20, 2018 at 1:22 pm #232295
    Feathering my nest
    Participant

    Eeeesh sounds hard. 🙁

     

    ” I want to set boundaries and respect myself. ”

    This is good.

     

    Next time he tries to make plans – maybe explain that you do want to see him but don’t want to agree to plans because he flakes out?

     

    Its annoying how sex can complicated relationships. I’ve done casual but both parties were unequivocal and did not send out any mixed messages.

    October 20, 2018 at 1:26 pm #232297
    Feathering my nest
    Participant

    Sorry I mean just explain your reservations about it – setting a boundry in this regard.

    Lemmie know if I am not being clear…

    October 20, 2018 at 9:33 pm #232317
    anxie1y
    Participant

    1. Let past be the past. Let’s not look into the sex you had with him previously as the main focus, since it is a consensual sex.

    2. If you still interested on him, let him come after you, sincerely. If he ain’t doing so, build up your self. Focus more on yourself. Hang out with other guys. You will eventually figure out he’s not the only one.

    3. If he asks to have sex again, reject his request. draw a clear line. Telling him you will only have sex with someone who is your boyfriend.

     

    Cheers

    October 21, 2018 at 1:30 am #232335
    Bell
    Participant

    I had been there 🙂 And I guess casual relationship is not for everyone.

    I think its good that you have realised that you should set boundaries and respect yourself. If you are thinking of the possibility of serious relationships I think it is even more important that you have to keep the boundaries! You could still go out with him if you wanted to know if he is genuinely interested, as long as you keep the boundaries and make sure it is loud and clear to him as well. If he is not interested, you will know and you have to let go.

    Let the past be the past and don’t feel that you had done something wrong, sometimes we made mistakes to understand ourselves more. Good luck there!

    October 21, 2018 at 7:55 am #232373
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear cranberry:

    My suggestion is that if he makes it possible for you, get to know him, learn more about who he is while not having sex with him.

    First, get to know a man, learn who he is, then consider a sexual exchange with the man.

    You already learned something about him, that he flakes out of plans he makes. This is valuable information. Because even if you do get him interested in a committed relationship with him, he will be inclined to flake out, to not keep his word. So maybe better not aim at a relationship with him at all…?

    anita

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