Today, we would’ve been together for two years. We both deeply love each other and feel as though we’ve possibly met our soulmates, but our relationship is definitely not without problems.

Some background information (this might be a long post and I’m so sorry about that): We’re in a long distance relationship. He’s in Europe and I’m in the U.S. For the first 8/9 months we actually weren’t long distance at all, he was here on an exchange program. But eventually he had to go back and that’s when a lot of problems starting occurring. The main and hardest problem is that he has a hard time committing to our plans. He will swear up and down and promise on everything that he will visit me at x time and we will be living together by y time, and then he’ll back out of it. The reason for this is mainly his parents. They’re not supportive of us and he lives under their roof so he’s expected to follow their rules. If he considers visiting me when his parents do not want him to then they will be quite nasty to him, which puts him in a spot where he’s practically forced to choose between them and me. 4/5 times he’s chosen them.
But I want to add that the reason why I haven’t left him is because I feel we have something really special. We have a deep connection, something I’ve never felt before, and I can truly be myself around him which I’ve also never experienced with anyone else. Our ultimate goals in life are the same, we share a lot of the same interests and beliefs, and our morals line up really nicely. We also have a great chemistry with each other as if our personalities are bouncing off one another whenever we’re together. I enjoy myself a lot when I’m around him and he makes me feel really good. I genuinely feel like I met someone who will make a great lifelong partner for me. And from what he’s told me, he feels the same.

The problem: He promised by next month we would have an apartment in his country until he finishes this year of school (and then he’d get a student visa to attend my college). He backed out of getting the apartment. It really hurt, especially since I let my whole family know about our plans, but I came up with the compromise that I would go visit him for a month in October. At first he seemed really okay with that and we were looking up everything together so we could make it work. But then, he backed out of that, too. He claims that he’ll be really busy the upcoming month with school and that right now is not a good time for him. And then, he said he needs time to find himself. He said he’s not himself and that he’s been struggling with this for over a year. He claims that he’s been trying to figure it out, trying to find a way for us to be together while he figures it out. But he says it’s not working and that he needs to find himself before he can be with me and make me happy. He says that he loves me and wants to be with me. That he needs to find himself and fix his problems so he can make me truly happy and be the man I need, but can’t do that while he’s with me (since apparently he’s been trying that for a year now and it hasn’t worked).  And he wants us to both be faithful (no “cheating”) while he’s doing that.

So what do I do? Do I wait for him and give him some space to let him figure this out (if it’s even possible)? After the countless number of broken promises, do you think he’ll really be able to find himself and change? Or do you think he’s shown his true colors and that I should move on? I’m honestly so lost and hurt by all of this because I do deeply love him. And I feel like he’s partly doing this because he’s not ready to make sacrifices for me, he never has been. I think mostly because he doesn’t want to face the backlash of his parents. Although, I don’t really consider having your girlfriend visit your country for a month as making a sacrifice, but I guess that’s besides the point. Anyways, all advice is appreciated. If you have any more questions about this situation, I’ll gladly answer them. Thank you so much for reading this far.