This sounds more about him than it does about you, just a few points I would like to provide an alternate perspective on, feel free to disregard if you wish. I am not a professional of any sorts.

1: Lets give you credit for bringing your issues to him! Communication is a bedrock to any solid relationship, Lets also give this dude credit for giving you an honest answer to your concern. You got what you asked for, so how will you react? Use his honesty against him and end it? Someone who is willing to be open with you and honest with themselves seems to be a rare thing.

2: Soulmate theory, I dont believe “soulmates” just happen, I dont believe you just walk through a crowd and are guided to someones spiritual energy. I believe soul mates are created when two people are compatible enough and feel comfortable enough with each other to drop all defenses and insecurities and bear their souls to each other. This vulnerability on both sides it what *creates* the soulmate bond. It takes a lot of work and two very emotionally healthy people.

3: What will you do now? You say you love him and despite some relationship problems you want to “work it out.” I would use this as an opportunity to take inventory of these past issues, were they mutually resolved? or just swept under the rug? Were they really deal breakers that you ignored/made excuses for because you simply wanted the relationship/companionship so badly? You need to come up with a game plan of where to go from here. The pin has been pulled out of the grenade, will you throw it or hold onto it and let it blow you both up? His comment about not being 100% sure I think is a decent sign all is not lost just yet. Most people have several layers, the root of all this is probably between one or multiple of his. However most people aren’t honest enough themselves to start peeling the layers back to find the answers.

I think your solution is going to come only after some hard, honest and open reflection, as to the condition of the current relationship. If there isnt really a strong foundation beneath the “surface” anything you build on that lot will just fall apart as time goes on. If the relationship hasnt progressed emotionally past 6 months, its probably because someone isnt willing or able to be vulnerable emotionally to take the big leap and risk to opening up and moving into deeper territory.

It takes two to make or break a relationship. I played a part too!

As much as I appreciated the honesty, it was only when asked, did his honesty surface.
Yes, it was hard on both sides.
At some point in our getting to know each other, he made the choice to not love.
He was happy when with me.
Caring for me though he was on the fence about me and yet did not see a future with me.
He was not 100% certain and to be 100% certain about a relationship is quite the Oxymoron.

He made a choice. I did not like this choice, nor his offer of friendship.
The hurt felt dissapointment was too much to simply set aside and I was the heart felt fighter that would not stand alone.
The courage and your choice to cut all ties is to hold value in yourself and allow time to heal,more so than to guilt or blame.

After some reflection, I probably was insensitive sometimes towards his needs. More communication may have helped and more efforts would’ve been applied. Afterall, we are not perfectly molded to each other.

It takes time to know someone and for a relationship to grow, love is a choice that is meant to be shared.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by ForgetMeKnot.