Hi Anita,

How are u? just wanted to tell you that he has been calling me today since morning. Now its 12 noon and so far around six calls to my office phone. But I didn’t pick it up.

I was sad that he never bothered to even call me but for today its been exactly two weeks since the last incident happened and I really don’t know why is he calling me. He was clear with his decision the other day or maybe he wants to check how I am.

whatever the reason is I decided not to answer or respond to any of his communication. What do you think Anita?

Risha

Anita – Its so nice of you to think about myself.  I am touched by your words coz I always feel down thinking how someone you love so much treat you so badly as if all the years I spend with him doesn’t matter at all. but glad to know there’re good people in this world who cares for each an every soul eventhough they know a little about them.

Yes Anita I didn’t answer because  I know I might have to listen to his sob story again and I am not gonna gain anything by that. But I was a bit worried also when he called me coz I really cant see people suffering and the attempt he takes to reach me etc.

Sometimes I feel so am angry with him and  sometimes I feel sorry for him too after all what he did to me. I really don’t understand myself coz how can I be so caring towards the other person without even thinking  what I am going through because of him. This has always been the case – everytime I pushed him away he is restless and struggles to reach me so I didn’t want to hurt him coz I cared too much. But when he decided to move he didn’t even think twice about me and he said he cant help if got hurt by his decision so that proves he never felt sorry for me the way I did for him.

No matter what I still do love him Anita and I miss him so much but it hurts to know that he’s with another person while am still suffering. The man who promised me he would stick with me till the end.

Michelle – I totally get your point talking to him will hurt me even more I am not in a situation where I can cope anything negative and hurtful. I find myself so weak and I look so pale. it was so depressing to see myself in the mirror yesterday coz I look so sick I felt so sorry for myself. I have always been a very strong person who took care of myself. But today every person who sees me asks ‘Are you ok, u look unwell’ So that shows how much I have been suffering mentally and physically where others could also notice the change.

Bubba – Thanks for reading my post – ‘He evaluated the situation and went over it before he came to the decision. He did not just make the decision, he did it behind your back without showing it and talking to you’ – This statement of you is so true that’s why am so hurt the betrayal and pretending to be it was a proposal and in few months he decides she can be his life partner whereas knowing me for 7 years he couldn’t do any justice for me. I have no words to explain how much it hurts.

Yes he wants to have contacts with me secretely. He has been dragging this so long coz he wanted his parents and me both he couldn’t take a decision all these years and finally decided to please them by finding a person as per their choice while he still wants me to accept him and forgive him and still to have contacts with him. So that he has everyone by his side and he can live Happily ever after. But that way doesn’t work with me. The day I found he cheated me I seriously don’t want to be a part of his life.

By the way Anita /Michelle/Bubba – When he called me at one point I did think should I answer and tell him all I what I feel because no matter what there’re loads of untold things to him which is buried deep down me. I can share only half of the story with u’ll and my friends but there’re loads of things where I cannot share with any of you other than him. But I couldn’t do that.

So I felt if its ok to send that email which I was trying to send few days back – I know I’m not gonna gain anything from it, I don’t want to make him feel bad or I don’t want him to be sad, regret or anything. I just want to tell him whatever that’s in my heart and release it for my ownself and I will tell him clearly I don’t need any response to it.

I really dunno if its an good idea or not, please advice

Risha

Hi Anita, Michelle & Bubba,

I totally understand what each one of you have explained. But my concern is that I couldn’t tell him ‘that I know this girl was not a proposal’ I found out so many things as what he was doing with her while he was with me. I want him to know that I know everything that he did while I was trusting him. He is conveniently pretending its a proposal and moving on pretending he’s innocent. He must be laughing at my foolishness. So that’s the reason I want to tell him what I found about him.

The day I met him I did tell him that I know this girl she’s someone who worked in one of our office project. Then he was quiet but i didn’t question him further because at that time he did tell me that he will try to speak to his parents and stop it. After I came home and when he refused my proposal and told he cant do anything I told it’s fine he can go ahead with it. Thereafter I sent him a voice note explaining him that I kind of know its not a proposal. but unfortunately those voice notes aren’t  clear coz even I couldn’t hear it by myself so I don’t think he heard me properly. This is what is bothering me.

He also told me that we lost each other and we are not able to be together in this world. But for sure we will be together in our next birth. As a Muslim I do not believe in next birth. But this is the value he gave me to meet him during his next birth. Those words hurt me a lot because it was clear that he cannot do anything for me further.

I know nothing will change by me sending the email but don’t u think he should know that I am aware of all the cheating that he did while with me? and I surely know that he wouldn’t respond and I am not expecting a reply.

But if you still say its not advisable then I will not send. because I’m still confused. I am sorry if I am acting like a kid.

Risha