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He doesn't love me back

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  • July 8, 2013 at 11:21 pm #38238
    Hannah
    Participant

    Someone, any advice please! I know almost everyone stops in this thing at some point in life, here I am, can’t stop thinking about my exboyfriend. My heart is aching since he doesn’t want to be with me, I can’t stand the fact that the best thing is to let go of these feelings of wanting to even marry him and spend my life with him. I already know all that “there’s someone else for you out there” stuff, but I just want to be with him! What can I do I feel so embarassing and stupid. Tired of trying to forgeting him for about two years now.

    July 9, 2013 at 8:10 am #38261
    Matt
    Participant

    Hannah,

    You want to marry someone that doesn’t even want to be with you? Why would you want that?

    What I hear is that you are addicted to the memory of the “us” that happened two years ago. It was so brilliant and amazing that you keep thinking you want it back. Its gone, dead, a memory. He doesn’t want it back, and without him, there is no “us”… just a memory or fantasy. Its up to you to let the dead sleep.

    Then, as you realize that the beauty of “us” arises when two people are giving attention to each other, you can look for a new relationship with the knowledge of how amazing it can be…

    With warmth,
    Matt

    July 9, 2013 at 12:08 pm #38275
    Jo
    Participant

    Hannah,

    I have to agree with Matt’s comment. Allowing these thoughts to stay in your head is prolonging what is clearly agony for you. It is preventing you from healing and is scarring you too – think of picking at a wound… It is not easy to say but comes from experience that you need to leave these thoughts alone in order that they can disappear from your mind for good. It is within you somewhere to find the strength that you will need to change your thought processes. Whenever ‘he’ comes into your mind think immediately of something else, something good and beautiful for example. Letting go of the thoughts means accepting it is over and that thought is excruciatingly painful. But you know that it is over, really you do… Please be strong for yourself. Do not let these thoughts waste any more of your precious life.
    Also with warmth
    Jo

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