I’m not exactly an expert on relationships. But I do have a fair bit of experience. Especially when it comes to chasing what I want; love with somebody I connect both mentally and physically. By the way the physical can’t be had without the mental connection to begin with.

Anyway: in the present I assume you desire love and a committed relationship? If you can muster the courage and acknowledge what it is you want and why it is you want this, then this might help you a little. It’s just there is a lot here to read and I have skimmed some of it. Interested me to hear about your mind set and some of the causes and different paths you have available. From my experience it is just about working out what you want, and why you actually want it. For me it is due to not having a loving or nurturing upbringing. Missing and lacking love in life can’t always be reciprocated unfortunately. Connecting with 1sepf is important. But until you’ve fully connected with every aspect of yourself then it makes it much harder to find that with another individual.

And going over ‘what ifs’ is far from helpful. You are in the present. The past is helping you learn. You don’t know what the future is going to bring for you. And that is hard to think about and acknowledge. Which is why it is so important to to work on yourself in the present. Look at the positives. Be thank ful. And if there are things you want in your life, then once you’ve worked out what these are, then work out why they are wanted or needed. Then you can start putting things in place to make things work. But still be in the present and believe you can do it. So appreciate yourself for taking these steps. B
It takes a great deal of time to get to know ourselves, let alone another individual. So go easy on yourself and don’t forget that you are living your life