My boyfriend broke up with me recently after a 2 year year relationship together. He has suffered with (undiagnosed) depression his whole life which stems from emotional abuse from his mother as well as his first and longtime partner cheating on him. Because of this, he has struggled with vulnerability and communication in our relationship and would implement a lot of distancing strategies in order to protect himself. He had a breakdown 2 months ago and finally decided he didn’t want to be sad anymore and that he wanted to get help. I have always supported him with his depression and we both care about each other a great deal but he said he couldn’t get well and focus on a relationship at the same time. He asked me to move out.

We didn’t talk for a few weeks but have been in contact recently and he is finally seeing a doctor about his depression (so happy about this) We have met up a few times and it is like nothing has changed. We have a fantastic time together, laugh and he is being a lot more open with me. What makes it hard is that he send me a lot of mixed signals. Says he misses me, talks about going for a weekend away together, continuing to see each other etc. but has admitted he is so confused about everything in his life and what he wants and feels directionless.

I want nothing more than for him to get better and be happy with himself. If he can’t be in a relationship, I accept this.
I tried to communicate to him that him taking time to work on himself is ok and that I want someone who is 100% committed to a relationship and doesn’t take me for granted because I deserve that. I also said that I wasn’t sure if seeing each other was a good idea because it doesn’t make things easier on us. He got really upset and stressed about this and that it felt like i was pressuring him to make a decision. (not my intention at all)

How is it that I am now feeling incredibly guilty.
It is in my nature to be supportive and caring of the people I love which makes it hard for me to even say those things to him.

Any advice or insights would be so helpful! 🙂