Dear Karolina:

From your share he seems reasonable in what he told you: that he doesn’t want to see the look of resentment in your eyes, first time he left. It is reasonable and fair that he told you clearly before you moved in with him that he already chose a life of less income, so no surprises there for you, no legit complaints… so it made sense for him to leave and point to the reason that he pointed in his leaving. What he said to you afterwards also made sense: that he doesn’t want to be stuck in a powerless situation again, that he doesn’t want to live on eggshells, being careful to not offend you, that this is not working out for him. After all this time of you and him getting back together and being together, what he said made sense.

On the other hand, you make less sense to me. Something is driving you here, was driving you through the whole thing that you didn’t state in your share. Like the elephant in the middle of the living room that wasn’t acknowledged. Maybe that elephant is the insight you are looking for. Something you have been avoiding.

Any ideas what that could be? A frequent place to look at for real answers is your history of attachment to the first people in your life: a parent? Parents? The story of your first attachment is likely to point to the elephant. Would you like to share?

anita