Dear fruzsina23:

This may be, among other things, the trap of nostalgia: how great LAST year was, now THIS year sucks in comparison. And next year you may ask yourself: this year sucks too in comparison, maybe it is a bit better than the year before, but not as great as that greatest year. And, can you imagine at 73, decades from now, you thinking back: oh, THAT year at uni, that was the greatest year in my life and everything since has been a downhill, some years better than others, but nothing as wonderful as THAT year.

It reminds me of the first time I visited Disneyland in California. I was so excited, that may have been the happiest day in my life up to that point (I was 24). There were few lines, the weather was excellent, I kept going on my favorite ride, Space Mountain, over and over again. I couldn’t be happier.

Once I moved to California, I went to Disneyland again and again, trying to relive THAT happy day- did NOT happen. The lines were always long, the weather wasn’t right and nothing was the same.

I think that my experience with Disneyland may apply to you: your first year at uni was magical. Everything was NEW. That newness refreshed your brain and you acted in ways different than the ways you used to behave. You were on a ride of sorts.

You probably cannot get that feeling back, that year. Conditions changed. It was new then. It can never be new again. Therefore the magic is gone.

Trying to recapture the magic is futile, the same magic that is. There are other exciting things to see and experience and if you focus on those things YET to be experienced, your life will be meaningful. If you focus on the magic that cannot be recaptured, your life is likely to be a disappointment- everything will suck in comparison to that magical year.

anita

Dear Fruzsina23:

You felt better simply for posting your original post, writing it down put order in your thoughts and made you see better and be clear. You didn’t even need to read my input here. Lesson: please do it again, post here. It is indeed futile to try to re-live past joy. It is effective to look forward to the next and the next joy, what is yet to come.

anita