Hi Jeanine! It sounds like you really approached your break-up in a healthy way, taking time for yourself and then slowly opening up to the idea of a new relationship. After a break-up in college, I refused to do the first part. We’d been together for three years, and I felt this need to replace the relationship to avoid feeling the massive void.

I “searched” for a long time and never truly embraced being single. As a result, I stayed single for almost a decade. I dated a lot, but it was never right, because I wasn’t in the right headspace. As soon I fully embraced that it was better to be single than to be in a relationship for the sake of it, I started meeting people who seemed more compatible.

In other words, as soon as I stopped looking, I started finding. It’s crazy how a shift in mindset can do that.

I think if you feel you’re ready, and you put yourself out there from that healthy place of security with yourself (not the place of lack I operated from), you’ll start meeting compatible people in no time!

I love this quote from Rumi:

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”