Hi
I maybe the last person on this earth to give you advise but take it from a 30 year old woman, that you are lucky to have this happened to you now. My love left me a month or so ago. Its very painful to wake up everyday and not have a I love text from him. I am taking it so hard that I can’t stop crying. I cry at least two or three times a day. I had many boyfriends and no relationship has been healthy because I don’t know who I am. I have no idea what I want in life or in a man. I spent my life going from one guy to another just trying to find my happiness in them. I have no idea how to be by myself. I am successful. I have a great friends. I am a homeowner but without a man I feel like a failure. I am making a choice and trying to be better with myself now. Its so incredibly hard but I think I’ll be better in time
I had one of my friends remind me of his story today. He was married to his wife for 6 years and she cheated on him. He went through a very painful divorce and for months couldn’t stop crying. Then one day he got up and decided to help himself. He is a religious guy so he reached out to his church and found the support he needed. He grew from this experience and after years of dating around and being alone, he found his wife now. He is over the moon. She has a similar story to my friend being divorce from her college sweetheart. Why I am telling you this story, because they took the time to find themselves. My friend said to me, the day you find your person, you won’t need him. So please take this time to do whatever it is you want to move on and be good to yourself. Its never too late to do that. Its painful for me because I keep repeating my pattern. I also think very highly of my ex, I love him and hate him at the same time but I know that the only way I can show my love for him is to let him go. I haven’t yet but I will. I have to respect his decision. I have to believe that there is something better out there for you and me.
Heal first. Don’t pressure yourself to get in a relationship. Honor yourself. Love yourself.

I wish you recover and I hope you don’t ever feel the way I do. I wish you well.

I can tell you, from experience, that what sapnap has said is right. Not that i’ve followed that advice, rather I have experienced the antithesis of it – jumped immediately from my divorce into a relationship and while I am learning to be happy with myself and know who i am, the relationship is not working…doesn’t feel right…who I was when i met my current mate, in that transient, painful state is not who I am now.

get yourself straightened out first, figure out what you like and who you are, and then you can find the person who best matches your true self, or maybe you prefer to be on your own. but you’re not going to know that if you’re looking to meld yourself to be a good mate for someone else. better to find who you are, how you are most comfortable being and then find someone who complements the true you.

i’ve got my own work to do, particularly figuring out what to do with this relationship…as i said, i’ve made the mistake rather than avoided it, but the above is the way to go.