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Handling mom's illness

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  • February 10, 2017 at 8:22 am #127178
    Nina Sakura
    Participant

    Dear Prasanth,

    It is a tough time and I know it’s killing you from inside and you feel like everything is slipping away. But always remember this – she loves you and for a mom, her child’s happiness is the main thing.

    Whether you have gf or fame or anything or all possessions in the world, you will always be her little boy. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Sometimes these unfortunate things do happen. I have no clue why despite the best precautions people take.

    I am not sure what the result will be tomorrow but for whatever time you have left, just spend them with her happily or simply hold her hand, read her something or play some music she likes. Click lot of pictures – this is one thing you will have along with a treasure trove of memories, whatever be the result. We all have to go eventually but it’s important to make good memories.

    Whenever you feel overwhelmed with life, take a moment to sit in a quiet, green filled place – get the fresh air and breathe. Breathe through that anxiety and pain. You are not alone in this though. Everyone here especially is reading, we all care immensely – many here have had such terrible losses and suffering.

    This situation is something you can’t entirely control but life will go on despite everything. That’s the weird thing about it.

    Please continue to post whenever you feel like. I hope you will be alright.

    Regards
    Nina

    February 10, 2017 at 9:15 am #127181
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear A. Prashanth:

    It is regrettable that your mother is suffering so much. I hope her health improves, and that she will not be suffering.

    I re-read some of your previous writing in previous threads. The anxiety you suffer from- your parents, one maybe, more than the other, have been significantly anxious your whole life- that is why they didn’t allow you to go on that school trip you regret so much not going on, and this is why they didn’t allow you to drive a vehicle, fearing for your safety. Their anxiousness harmed you and significantly affected your life negatively.

    This anxiety, theirs, yours, needs to be managed, healed from, best you can.

    You feel guilty- but notice, you wrote that most of your siblings are oversees. It is you who is present; you who are more in your mother’s life than your siblings, isn’t it so?

    You wanted to make your mother proud by becoming a published writer, and you worked so hard for that goal. Does your mother know that? Does she appreciate how intensely you wanted to make her proud and how hard you worked to make her proud? That is your love for her in-practice. The work you did is evidence of your love for her. I hope she takes in this love and finds comfort in it.

    Before the recent developments in your mother’s health you were most worried about your 87 year old grandmother. Anxiety is something that you need to deal with as you go on. Please be kind to yourself, be patient with yourself. Do not add to your distress by adding unjustified guilt to it.

    You are not responsible for your mother’s illness and it is not your job to get married and have children so to please her, regardless of her health status. It simply is not your job.

    I hope she gets better, that she doesn’t suffer more; that you get better, and that you will find relief from your suffering.

    anita

    February 14, 2017 at 2:39 am #127513
    A. Prashanth
    Participant

    A big thanks to you Anita, for being so patient and replying to my every post. Tiny Buddha is a good place to pour the noises in the mind and it helps when people like you so politely and kindly respond, without hurting anyone’s feelings. Most of my posts, though I know are silly, unreal and most times childish, I write down nonetheless because I couldn’t share those thoughts at the time when I’m undergoing an emotional turmoil with people around me. It’s great that so many compassionate people here offer such wonderful and comforting words. A big thanks to you. A little update, mom’s been made to undergo a Bronchoscopy test (which she struggled with a lot). Her tissue samples have been sent for biopsy and I should know the results in less than a week. I’m trying my best to distract myself with my work, with good positive thoughts and believing that God is watching and is protecting us in every way. Thanks for being patient with my posts.

    February 14, 2017 at 2:41 am #127515
    A. Prashanth
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your reply Nina. It’s been very comforting to read through your words. I couldn’t thank you enough. I am trying to keep a positive outlook and I pray all will be well soon. It was just a very tough period, when my emotions were going crazy that I wrote down the above posts. It’s a great relief that people like you reply with warm and kind words. Owe the people in Tiny Buddha big time. Thanks once again

    February 14, 2017 at 9:21 am #127579
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear A. Prashanth:

    You are very welcome. Thank you for your kinds words of appreciation.

    You wrote that most of your posts “are silly, unreal and most times childish”- I don’t think so, don’t see your posts as any of these things. Your feelings are real and valid and need to be treated with empathy and respect. There is always a valid message behind every one of our emotions, and that valid message is never silly.

    anita

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