His brain does work very differently from mine! It was really fascinating and I loved asking him questions about his perspective on time. Like he would say he couldn’t really keep track of which training groups met on which day, even though he worked there almost every day of the week and that schedule never really changes… He struggled greatly to plan things and admitted frequently that he sucked at timing and was constantly late to things, but he really did make an effort with me because he could tell I valued time. I brought up the register thing only because that meant he was stuck and forced to interact with me 😉 The other day that I ran into him he wasn’t actually on the job anymore but was just hanging out and after a few minutes of me being there working with another staff member he went to the other side of the room behind some stuff and hid in the corner on his phone.

I’d hate to think 5 hours was like 5 minutes to him, though. I did say at one point near the end “well, I didn’t expect this to last more than one drink” and he said “yeah me neither.”

I really just want to know why he feels so awkward or afraid of me now 🙁

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by B.

Is that an appropriate thing to ask? I’d feel kinda awkward lol! And I still wonder if I should text him good luck on his event tomorrow. Part of me doesn’t care to, but the other part feels bad and wants to show that I still support him and care.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by B.

I doubt it– he is very focused in other areas of his life. He just seems to lose track of time or has a poor grasp of it. He spends a lot of his time engrossed in serious books that would bore me. When it comes to reading and his studies, I probably look like the one with ADHD 😉

If I can bring myself to. I didn’t have much courage (or time) to ask him about his deeper thoughts regarding this sort of topic while we were dating. Now would be even harder as I only see him in public around other people. A lot went unspoken. But I know it would be good practice for me to approach this fear. Even now after having dated someone else since him I am afraid to bring up sensitive topics. This one I am currently seeing I am not interested in pursuing a relationship with anymore but when I had arranged a meeting to gently let him down I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Communication was very poor growing up, apparently. I feel so incredibly stupid for not saying anything, but he didn’t ask to see me again so I couldn’t say I didn’t think we should see each other anymore. Now it’s fading awkwardly.

I am also afraid the original guy maybe lost interest because there was someone else he is interested in. I don’t know if that’s the case and if it were I would be very shocked because she is my opposite (bubbly, very outgoing, very religious, and I doubt she has that deeper intellectual connection with him), but this would make it the third time in a row that someone I cared about either lost interest in me and started dating my a bubbly person like this or found one shortly after breaking up with me. If I am no one’s type, then who is mine?

Sorry for confusing you– I was kind of talking to myself I think! Just venting since I was having a bad day due to other circumstances. The other guy I don’t have much to add about. He was very nice and reliable but I was not feeling a connection either emotionally or intellectually as he did not challenge me or talk about things that I found interesting (or would change the subject when we did). He also came on very strong before I was able to grow anything for him, which made me feel rushed, but that probably wouldn’t have mattered if I felt a connection to him. I found myself not caring whether I saw him or not.

I am friendly and social but also introverted and shy sometimes. At first I may seem reserved (depending on where you meet me) but I can be very playful and love to laugh with others. I am constantly out and about doing fun things or deep in thought, or both. I think of myself as intellectual but not extremely so. I like talking about ideas and concepts more so than day-to-day things and people (unless it’s to talk about them more deeply like motivations, psychologically, etc.). I am still growing out of my insecure, socially fearful childhood but there is more growth to happen. There will be days where I feel very lucky to be surrounded by good friends and other days when they are nowhere to be found and I feel lonely and self-pitying. A few days ago I tried to set up a get-together to reunite a large number of friends and all but 2 (of 20+) bothered to respond and could actually come without cancelling last minute. I felt like a loser, because another girl in the group has no problem getting everyone to show up. When I asked her if she was coming her response was just “no”, not “I can’t make it, sorry.” I am a little jealous of people who are just naturally popular as it takes me a long time to make good, reliable friends. Thankfully I have a few now (they just couldn’t make it 😉 ).

Some days I exude confidence which attracts people to me– including the disorganized guy who couldn’t believe I was shy– but when they leave or I feel abandoned my confidence fades. A few other things lately have been causing me to doubt myself more. For example, I run, which brings me joy and allows me to be with friends, but am injured and have to cancel my training for a marathon I was excited about. The reuniting dinner thing was supposed to be a way for me to connect with those friends. I am also having a hard time finding a new job, although I am lucky to have a stable one but it is unfulfilling and under appreciated. This is all just a natural ebb and flow of good and bad days I suppose, until I mature more and stop letting people and external events affect my self-esteem. It’s a work in progress 🙂

I do notice that when I let all of these little things get to me is when I start thinking about this guy or even my ex before him whom I still miss deeply sometimes (or the things we did together, rather), as I put my self worth in what they think/thought of me when I feel vulnerable.

I’m also still just confused and wish I knew what was going through his head in my quest to understand other people and how they think.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by B.