Dear Nichole:

Like I wrote, and you can google, increased anxiety can be caused by Zoloft. There are other SSRIs that work for people who react badly to Zoloft. I wonder how you are doing this Wednesday morning?

anita

Dear Nichole:

B complex vitamins have helped many. I think they will help you too. I wonder if you sleep during the day, being tired from little sleep during the night?

anita

Dear Nichole:

I suggest you don’t try to “fee the pain” or to forgive others. Try to be okay with whatever it is that you feel- and whatever it is that you don’t feel. Don’t criticize yourself for feeling this and not that. Don’t bother yourself with forgiving your family members. Instead accept everything about your experience of life today and every day. Let yourself be. It will help you sleep at night once you allow yourself to just be without making comments to yourself: I should feel this.. I shouldn’t feel that.

So you reached out to your brother and he calls you. But you didn’t open up to him about your feelings yet, so you ask “if I should open up my feelings?”-

– the way I see it this morning is this: you are in the ocean and you think you are drowning, so you frantically move your arms about, trying to keep afloat and you call for help, and someone throws you a stick so you hold on to  it and feel a bit better, a bit hopeful, that maybe you will not drown.. but the stick deteriorates so quickly, right in front of your eyes and you are back to frantically trying to stay afloat, and you scream again: Help! Help! Somebody help me!

And someone throws a stick to you again, you hold on to it, feeling better, hopeful and that stick too, falls apart, melts into the water…

The strange thing though is that your feet are touching the ground underneath the water, and you are able to walk to the shore, you just don’t know it, or you don’t consider it.

It would make sense to walk to the shore, wouldn’t it? Better than staying in the water screaming for help, taking this or that stick and watch it melt  into the water.

anita

Dear Nichole:

I want you to sleep, this is first priority at this point. If it means you move back to your father’s/brother’s apartment so to sleep, do so. If it means moving back to your aunt’s – do so. I don’t like these options, not at all, but you need to sleep first.

anita

Dear Nichole:

I don’t like it, not one little bit. But you have to sleep, be it by checking into a hospital or going back to … well, I don’t like it, but you have to sleep, whatever it takes.

anita

Dear Nichole:

Yes, you need sleep. So the ER is of no help beyond the Xanax. I understand you not wanting to move back in with either your father/brother or your aunt. I wouldn’t either if I was you. But it seemed to me that you wanted to. I was under the impression that you decided, sort of, to not be okay until Family will save you, take you in, make a safe, loving home for you and until and unless they do, you will be sleepless and miserable.

anita

Dear Nichole:

Do schedule an appointment with a doctor. And be extra mindful of your actions and surroundings so to be cautious, being as exhausted as you are.

Do you think that under your awareness, maybe you are trying to be in a bad state so that your family members will be sorry for how they treated you and apologize and try to make it up to you, once they see how much you suffer?

anita