Guides are quiet or am i not listening

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This topic has 19 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 8 months ago by Anonymous.

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March 15, 2017 at 8:50 am #139575

sylvie
Participant

I have finally realized the man I’m with is a narcissist and all those “gut” feelings, dreams ect…were just my guides and my intuition so I am finally listening. While figuring this out and realizing it was not my head I felt good, not tense, happy almost and felt at peace. Now that I have made the decision to leave, I need to figure out where to live and how to pay for things. Everywhere I hear it’ll be fine, I see “signs” that all will be okay but I need help from them to guide me in where am I going? I’ve asked for guidance but it seems I’m not hearing anything, I spend my time tossing and turning and it seems like im getting depressed or at least exasperated of the wait. Are they telling me wait just a bit longer? Am I just not hearing anything? I’ve also been doing cord cutting with a prayer to Archangel Michael to release the ension and stress from me and my son while I need to focus on getting us out, but it seems on the nights I do this, the last 3 or 4 there’s no peace, just anxiety. what is fighting me and how do I get rid of it to feel the peace again until I can get out.??

March 15, 2017 at 9:22 am #139577

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Sylvie:

I think you are afraid, that is all. That’s what in the “no peace, just anxiety.”

anita

March 15, 2017 at 10:18 am #139593

sylvie
Participant

Yes I am. How do I move past it?

March 15, 2017 at 10:35 am #139609

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Sylvie:

Incrementally, little by little. Over time. Just a bit today. More tomorrow. When the fear is too much, take a break. Be patient, and gentle with yourself. Fear is a powerful force but you can make it, one little step at a time.

anita

March 15, 2017 at 11:18 am #139623

sylvie
Participant

thank you. I guess I just feel rushed as im sure he wants me out now…Im panicking a little. Breathe.

March 15, 2017 at 11:33 am #139637

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Sylvie:

Breathe and treat yourself as if you were a scared child. Take her hand and hold it. Take her in your arms and comfort her. Take her for a walk if that will help. Make her hot tea. Take care of her. That is your first responsibility, not to accommodate his need to have you out by now.

anita

March 15, 2017 at 12:30 pm #139667

sylvie
Participant

thanks, your right, but I just want to move away from all his narcissist abuse. Im just really at wits end with all the bullshit he feeds me and I think im frustrated to because he thinks I’m an idiot (which I know shouldn’t matter) and I so wish I could scream and say everything I know, but he will deny everything like he has always done. So that frustration is building.

March 15, 2017 at 1:25 pm #139677

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Sylvie:

Maybe part of you still wants him to listen to you (that’s why you want to scream, so he hears you!?), come to his senses, be a good partner, so that you don’t have to leave. Fear feeds such hope- hope made possible by not completely accepting reality, but still doubting it.

anita

March 15, 2017 at 3:20 pm #139705

Jen
Participant

Hi Sylvie,

I am so sorry you are going through this-You’re brave for ending it. It has been 2 years since things ended with my narcissistic abuser. It is nowhere near a normal relationship ending. It’s an incredibly unjust situation, often with no support system. You simply will never, ever get him to agree that he’s done anything wrong, or admit that anything was a big deal. I did something akin to radical acceptance. There was too much to think about, too many things that were deeply wrong and unfair. I had to accept everything as it was and move on. It was also difficult finding a therapist versed in narcissistic-type abuse. I felt very alone and flawed. Go no contact with him, find survivors online.

Jen

March 15, 2017 at 8:28 pm #139729

sylvie
Participant

Thanks ladies..not brave but i cant keep doing this its crazy..he fits the description perfectly..let him be someone elses problem..tried to talk to him tonight and again im the only one to blame ..i should of changed..screw you…i never needed to change…need a real man…hope is for me now..i told him its time for me to go…he said he would help ..well see but ill take it lol im not stupid lol i found a new way to increase my own motivation ..for every fear i replace with a positive..so like im sure he already has his next victim ..good note that will keep him distracted and give me what i need to go…

March 16, 2017 at 6:20 am #139745

Anonymous
Guest

Dear sylvie:

You told him: It’s time for me to go! He said: I will help you go!- something like that.

Notice: you told him the above hoping he will say: No, no, don’t go!

Disengage from him best you can NOW, stop, still, reaching out to him for help. You are on your own. And you can do so much better on your own, so do it! One moment, one hour, one day at a time.

anita

March 16, 2017 at 6:32 am #139749

sylvie
Participant

He used to say NO no don’t go and I used to say it too, but we both know were way passed this. The damage is done and it’s a circle of being repeated. You are absolutely right.

March 16, 2017 at 6:52 am #139755

Anonymous
Guest

dear Sylvie:

I think the challenge today is that you will be feeling, most likely, the same as you felt yesterday, and the day before that… but instead of acting today the way you did yesterday, act differently today. Notice how you feel, the fear, the anger, the hope… but instead of reaching out to him, instead of withdrawing from what you need to do, this time, today, resist the compulsion to reach out to him. Also, slow down, be gentle and patient with yourself, but do take one active step at a time, to accomplish your goal of leaving.

anita

March 16, 2017 at 7:19 am #139765

sylvie
Participant

Yes the slowing down part..i feel like i need to do it all now..my body has been so stressed with fight or flight for so long …

March 16, 2017 at 7:25 am #139769

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Sylvie:

When you find yourself rushing, doing the fight/flight, in the midst of distress, go to a place in your mind where it is quiet (find that place, it exists). This quiet place in your mind is your refuge, it is where you can find the Guides you mentioned in your title. Think and act from that place.

When you are distressed, not ALL of you is distressed; there is that quiet part.

Do it repeatedly, when distress, go there.

anita
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