Personally, I think self esteem comes from doing esteemable acts. Instead of rationalizing behavior, think of what an ideal human being would do and then do it. It comes in little forms, whether it’s not participating in gossip or working when others are sitting on the clock. It all adds up and eventually you become proud of the kind of person you are. Even if people say something negative about you, it won’t matter because you meet *your own* standards and can stick up for yourself with sound and honest reasoning.

There is something to loving yourself as/is, but it goes a lot farther if you know in good conscious that you are doing your best.
For whatever reason I see a correlation between self love and self care and self pride. People who hate themselves tend to choose self destructive habits and don’t care about personal standards or take an honest look at themselves.

Some last thoughts are that everyone is trying the best they can with what they know and are capable of at any given point in time. Sometimes people compare themselves to people who had more of a leg up in certain areas. It’s not worth thinking about. Everyone is trying to figure out something. Plus, being stunning, rich and talented doesn’t make life eaiser, worthwhile or perfect. Hollywood is a testament to that with all the addictions and short marriages.

I hope some of these ideas helped. Oh! And Brene Brown has some interesting books on vulnerability which I found thought provoking if you are interested. She has a Ted Talk if that’s easier.

What really helped me was to finish the sentance. “I’m not goon enough…” compared to? for? When i realized i’m the best at being me and that comparing myself to anything but myself is nonsense i started living a happy life.