Hi Sandy,

A third point of view comes to mind: adapting. You can make plans and strive for what you want, but you need to be able to adapt to the changing currents. Not exactly the same as going with the flow as you described it, but close. Think of a surfer surfing the waves or a person sailing a dinghy: he has a plan and the skills, but the environment is constantly changing. He can not rigidly execute a plan, but has to constantly adapt to the environment. It would be stressful, if the person didn’t accept the changes that happen, but he knows that things will never go exactly according to plan, and that is part of the fun!

Life never goes according to plans either and it doesn’t have to be stressful if you accept that fact.

Hi Sandy, I know this is old but I am new. I was personally touched by your story as I am going through something similar. I think what the Ruminant said has a lot of merit. We do have to adapt because life is constantly changing. However I think sometimes we need to change our mind-set so we can look outside the box sort of speak or look outside of ourselves. I have once said, our problems are sometimes beyond our PERSONAL UNDERSTANDING. So make it someone else’s problem (not literally); but how would you help them? Sometimes we are so busy trying to control a situation we can’t see all of the available options, we have our blinders on. So when we try to give someone else advice we can sometimes come from a broader perspective. So maybe you should really think about how you may be hindering yourself. If you go in to something with the same attitude at some point you will realize you are getting the same results. Maybe in this case the same result is you trying to put yourself in the right spot and feeling like oh this is not it, or i’m here and it goes bad. Maybe you need to take advice, be that advice adapt, or get more information about what it is you want to do and a different way to make it happen.

Either way, good luck, I know it will work out

🙂 Hi 🙂

Yes – I have sometimes termed things “catastrophic” when in fact my woes are merely “privileged problems”, “minor inconveniences” or “uncomfortable”. It’s not like I lost my legs, or am facing a cancer outlook of 5% recovery, or loosing both my children in a car crash or famine or homelessness etc…

My thoughts are not me.

They will attack me though. They will be relentless. They will use language that paralyzes me in fear or leaves my heart racing or contributes to the shininess of my nail clipper. (I used to chew my nails)

I get to be in charge of me though right? No one else is. I can take that assault or onslaught it (my thoughts) presents, and say ‘thank you – that was a little harsh – lets try again’. I get to over ride my self talk if I am aware that my thoughts are not me – they are not my feelings – and they are not in charge.

Peace and joy are not attained through ‘things’ or ‘titles’ or ‘stuff’. I sometimes think “If only (insert thing or event) THEN I would be happy”. But no… that external stuff never suffices for long… soon I am empty and starving for more titles, or more stuff, or better hair, or a bigger shinier vehicle… 🙁 I have crammed a LOT of stuff to fill that ‘void’ – and I’m still left me myself and I where ever I go, what ever I call myself – whatever I pull up in – and no matter how big my hair is 🙂 hehe.

I appreciate this thread guys – lots of wisdom thanks 🙂

A person can also flow too much with negative elements/forces/entities around them….I try to discern the flow that is most going to further my spirit and health and drift with it, but I also interact with the flow…not to change it but to understand it better.