Going in circles in my own head!

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This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by smit.

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January 24, 2015 at 10:12 pm #71881

M
Participant

There’s just this feeling of it being unfinished and that this is not how it should end. I can already feel how much i will miss his company and any how we’ll never get to do all the things we had planned.

January 25, 2015 at 7:50 am #71886

Sunfl0wer
Participant

I am not sure that I am understanding completely. You say he refuses to touch you there. Or is he just not touching you with anything other than his penis? Do you have intercourse? Are you able to find ways together that ARE pleasing to you sexually?

I think that what we do and how we relate to another in bed is often consistent with how we relate in the relationship. For example, when I was feeling my BF was withholding of himself in our relationship, he also was less active in bed and I felt like I was doing all the work and pleasing.

January 25, 2015 at 11:04 am #71889

Maggie Black
Participant

I feel like you are answering your own question… like you know what you need to do but just want some reassurance about it.
You know… if he would even just talk about the problem with you, well, that would be something.
But as it is, you are left just holding the bag… not knowing what to do with it.
Because you are trying to please him but he isn’t reciprocating.
What to do with that???
How can you ever feel good, free, loved, whole or anything else if your lover won’t even talk about it, much less do anything except put his penis there.
Sex like this is actually just one step from masturbation in my opinion.
no closeness, warmth, intimacy, or all the beautiful things that make sex so wonderful.

I am telling you what I would do.
I would tell him that this is unacceptable to me.
That I really love sex and want a very satisfying sex life and I am not getting it.
I would tell him that I want some time to think things through. I want to just have time to be who I am and see how I feel.
This will give you an opportunity to find out how much he means to you and what you are willing to trade off for in the relationship.
Trade offs aren’t all bad… but some are dealbreakers.
If you find out that this is then you are halfway out the door.
Best wishes.

January 26, 2015 at 7:28 am #71907

Locutis
Participant

Maggie has good advice. Everyone has different things they will do and need sexually. If he won’t do the things you need you simply have two choices: accept it or leave. If he decides the relationship is worth it he would at least try I would think, but if he isn’t even trying there’s not much you can do. You can’t change anyone or make them do something. The more you push It usually only does the exact opposite and they becomes less likely to change.

January 26, 2015 at 1:31 pm #71915

smit
Participant

I think the decesion which u had taken earlier was right.. if u feel u aren’t satisfied by him, then u shud leave him as u had made urself very clear about what u want.. and he isn’t complying to it. so u gonna stay unsatisfied and frustrated.. it will take u nowhere and u WILL break up in foreseeable future.. so I guess u shud leave him.. he will move on.. so will u
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