Dear Kylee:

That your former roommate, Jordan, sold something that belonged to you no less than to her without your consent, is unethical and troubling. Having guests on weekdays, and as a result you and your boyfriend had “a couple of weeks without getting any sleep”, together with the other behaviors, makes her what I call a roommate from hell. Good thing you and your boyfriend moved out!

Regarding the snapchat of the group chat that was accidently sent to Jordan- that’s unfortunate, but it is not a terrible wrongdoing. It is a mistake, that is all.

“Hoe do I show up and own what’s happened and not allow myself to fall back when she’s around?”- I don’t understand, what do you mean by “own what’s happened” and by “fall back”?

anita

Dear Kylee:

You are welcome.  You described her as an unreasonable person who is also not a decent/ considerate person, therefore it is reasonable for you to expect her to continue to behave in the ways she has already behaved.

I suggest that when you get together with her and with mutual friends, be friendly to her, as friendly as you are to the others; show her no animosity, no passive-aggressive comments of any kind and hope for the best. This way there will be fewer chances that she will demonstrate unfriendly behaviors toward you.

“I also don’t want her to think I’m cool with her at all”- in the context of getting together with mutual friends, I suggest that you don’t express to her that you are not cool with her. Avoid being with her in any other context– that’s the best you can do to send her the message that you are indeed, not cool with her at all.

anita

Dear Kylee:

You are welcome. I agree with you: “if she sees me being kind, it will most likely make her feel stupid for how she’s acted toward” you, plus it is likely to make her stupid for behaving in a similar way again, in front of the mutual friends.

anita