Friendless

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This topic has 10 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 6 months ago by Jonathan.

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September 9, 2016 at 2:25 am #114700

Miarbil
Participant

Dear Hellia,

I think I am in the same situation as you. I recently moved to a new country where I dont know anyoneand making friends has been very difficult. But I am using this part of my life to know more about myself. I recently took up sketching and other art stuffs and ı keep myself happy. I also had some falling out with previous room mates from uni and that has made me a guarded person. But solitude is part of life. soon this phase will pass and you will be surronded with friends and family. Hope u stay strong xx

September 9, 2016 at 6:29 am #114721

helleia
Participant

Hi mahia. Good to hear from you and that you have an outlet in other stuff (especially creative stuff). Do stay strong as well. But I suppose it’s also okay to admit weakness sometimes 🙂

September 9, 2016 at 6:32 am #114722

helleia
Participant

You know, I just realized that everyone I meet and fall out with is almost as painful as an ex lover. Hahaha…

I’m not sure why that is. But as I was lying in bed, really feeling my sadness and heavy-heartedness, my most recent pain reminded me of all the other pains I had in the past…

My recent pain is not romantic, although my second to the last recent pain was….

I wonder if I have almost equal weight for all of these people because of my social anxiety?

September 9, 2016 at 6:52 am #114724
Miarbil
Participant
dear helleia,

Are you an empath by any chance. Research the characters of empaths. It may give you some insight. I listed some pages you may find useful.

http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

http://boforbes.com/yoga-practice-lab/blog/feel-pain-empaths-guide-staying-balanced/
- This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Miarbil.
September 9, 2016 at 12:18 pm #114767

Tracey
Participant

Hello

I also class myself as friendless but it’s not something i worry about or am bothered about, i just don’t think todays society/world is the same place it used to be.
I do have what i call acquaintances, people i speak to and text ect but close friendships…..no for lots of reasons, some bieng i’m a busy mum/wife, time i do have i value to sit and do what i enjoy and the biggest is trust, how often have you sat and people watched as i call it, listening in to a conversation between 2 people quite happily gossiping about another friend ect, i don’t want to ever be that friend that gets stabbed in the back and gossiped about, been there, got the t-shirt so i’m very happy just to have my family and my Acquaintances and if others frown at that and think i’m anti social or weird, that is their problem not mine.
I guess the real question is DO YOU want what you term Real friends? or are you happy as you are?

September 10, 2016 at 9:30 am #114834

Anonymous
Guest

Dear helleia:

I like the way you write.

Congratulations for your increasing social skills. You wrote: “my social skills are always increasing. Every single experience I have had has made me less awkward, more ‘normal'”- progress through practice!

You wrote: “By true friends I mean those who will stick with you through thick and thin, if not for life then at least for a long time”- well, that would take time of “thin” for friendships to be tested. Not before.

You wrote: “Those (true friends) who empathize with my darkness instead of being turned off by it.”- I like your point here, and this can be found out sooner than later, given you share your darkness in moderation, not overwhelming the listener. Good point, says I.

anita

September 10, 2016 at 6:55 pm #114872

Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching
Participant

Hi beautiful person WOW IM SO PROID OF U THAT U ARE LEARNING AND GROWING EVERYDAY U DO DESERVE GOOD FRIENDS WHO LOVE U FOR U, I PROMISE THEYLL COME FOR NOW, BE THAT TO OTHERS AND YOURSELF enjoy each day tonthe fulkest do more what makes u happy remmeber what u deserve and its good to enjoy your own company, i do my pals are all far away but its ok goin to college iknoe ill hang with nw people and also helpmotherd even if i cant get to know them 1000 percent as longas i help and pursue what i love and live my life everyday i know im doing great. Youre a good person nothings wrong withnyou, you got light in u too just the darkness can cloud it but i know what its always been therr.,your light. U inspiredpeople keep shining beautiful i love u so mich Love Leni ♡Livelovelifeleni Positivity&Motivation ♡

September 16, 2016 at 1:57 pm #115386

Rebecca
Participant

Hi Tracey,

I just wanted to say that I agree with you that society today is not what it used to be, and what people call “friends” nowadays can be a mixed bag of, well, anything. Especially with all the social media, etc. I’m also a very busy mom and wife with a full time job, and I greatly value my free time. I love spending it reading, going for walks, just spending time outside, etc. Right now, my best “friends” are my daughter and husband, and maybe my sister who lives in another state (we keep in touch by email). I’m a kind and outgoing person, but just really haven’t met anyone in years who I have found that friend connection with. I also have many different ideas about things, and definitely think “outside the box”, so just really don’t feel like I fit in in a lot of social situations. Like you have mentioned, though, I am not unhappy with the way things are. I’d rather spend my time in my own company or with close family, than to spend it with someone who I don’t trust or connect with.

September 28, 2016 at 11:15 pm #116647

thelover
Participant

Hey, we are all friends here, and I’m sure all of must have gone through this situation at least once in life, it is common.

October 5, 2016 at 1:28 pm #117276

Jonathan
Participant

When I was a teenager I had a group of what I thought were close friends but they all left the city after college and I lost contact. Through my 20’s I had another friendship group but that has ended too.

These days I don’t have any friends and life is okay.
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