Hi All,

I am in a place of confusion and need help. I just recently ended things with my boyfriend of 4 months because we just weren’t compatible. I sort of feel indifferent to the whole ordeal and throughout our short relationship I realized that I needed to focus on myself. Since we’ve broken up I have been taking small steps to get on the right track to becoming the best version of myself but I have hit a wall. A former lover added me on a social media site a couple of months back and I sort of ignored it but since I broke up with my ex I decided to reach out and see how he was doing, we will call him Mr. Z. My intentions of reaching out was purely to see how he was but it slowly began to turn it flirting. Let me give you some back story.

Mr. Z and I started talking on a dating site 2 years ago. We quickly realized we were very similar and had great conversation. I wanted to meet Mr. Z very bad but he was a very busy guy and I accepted that from the beginning. He was very different than the guys I was used to talking to or dating, he was very mature and knew what he wanted and how to get it and that made him very attractive. For four months it was like a game of cat & mouse, me constantly asking when we were going to meet and him deflecting. I thought all hope was lost and I sort of gave up, until one day he called me and we made plans to meet. Meeting him was exactly what I thought it was going to be and more. Our chemistry was ridiculous and when we were together it was like the world had melted away (as cliche as that sounds). For the next couple of weeks we talked and hung out, I thought that things were going to progress into something wonderful but altogether it stopped. He disappeared for 3 months not a word and I was distraught but I had this feeling that he was going to contact me again and he did. He acted as if nothing happened and it was the strangest thing, I continued to talk to him but I was less interested and not as invested as before, so it made it very easy to turn him down when he wanted to see me. This continued for months until one day I realized I was into someone else and told Mr. Z that I did not want to talk to him anymore and that brings us to the present.

I am not sure whether I am talking to him because I do not want to focus on myself or because I generally want to get to know the man he is now. I feel the familiar pull that I used to feel when I talked to him, We clearly are always going to be connected to each other in a weird way. I am just unsure if this could be something again because of the way we are so compatible or if I am just wasting my time. I guess time would tell but I would like to hear some advice from a different perspective.

Thanks in advance for all the advice!