Sassy,

Sometimes when we feel pressured to love in a certain direction, it quickly dries up whatever affection would bloom there. Consider that you’re free, dear sister. Free to love who you love, free to be with whomever you choose. You have no obligations, intentions and feelings shift and change. If you have to break up with the old bf, such is the way of love sometimes. If you have to say farewell forever to ex bf, and all that passion and chaos, such is the way of love sometimes.

One of my teachers said that these forks are always coming. Usually, most often, one is deciding from fear, and one is deciding from love. If we take the love fork, our regrets melt off us as we know we’re doing our best. But which is the loving path? Which one is the fearful?

And that’s the mystery, right? Are you afraid the current intimacy is a dud in your heart, and are looking to escape into ol’ reliable passion bomb, with the same old chaos and tearing that lead to the breakup in the first place? Or, is your heartsong aimed at the ex because you two are “meant for each other”, simply loves him, and wishes to try again… with the hope of it succeeding this time. Or close?

Consider that matters of heart take a tender and patient touch, which makes this time away fortuitous indeed. Sometimes, when we simply rest with the question (such as “May I unweave this mystery of Sassy’s heart, find the space to see clearly”), and then get on with what is in front of us (till the soil, carry the water), the connection to the moment gives us the space, and the answers blossom on their own. The path we want to take lights up, feels fresh. (And not “loin fire”, such as sexual yearning, rather, its in the chest).

Finally, consider that love is far to often regarded as a burden, conflict, heavy. “What do I do with my love”, feels like “which tattoo will I forever be marked by” rather than “do I try to make a boat and set sail with this friend or with that friend?” Consider it gets easier. For me, when I am in nature, listening to the birds, the water, the wind… just breathing, appreciating, it becomes much easier to see what I enjoy. This over that. A robin’s song over a bluejay song (is that even a song?). Purple flowers over red. Simple. Sure, it might not be “who do I want to spend my life with”, but its a great start!

Namaste, sis, may your heartfelt wishes come true.

With warmth,
Matt