Casey,

Perhaps consider doing some metta practice with her. As we intend loving kindness toward difficult connections, our mind becomes free from the type of agitation you’re experiencing. There are some great guided meditation practices on YouTube. Perhaps check out “ajahn brahm guided metta”.

If you still have romantic feelings for her, perhaps your caution is wise. They can sometimes stir up jealousy and resentment… that when expressed lead to guilt (and tears at the friendship). If you hold a strong intention of being especially gentle (and practice metta) then your heart will guide the way.

With warmth,
Matt

Casey,

It’s like asking how to stop a river flowing, and the solutions are difficult and unpleasant. Consider instead trying a metta practice, which might let the detached warmth of wishing her well become stronger than the painfulness of unrequited love. You could also try asking out some other girls, because often our first love seems like the only possible love… but as we see how many beautiful people there are in this world, we find that romance blossoms from openness and attraction, is not random. 🙂

Good luck!

With warmth,
Matt