It’s been 3 and a half months and yep, same here, not well. But there is unfinished business I suppose, it holds me back. I’m glad you got through it, it makes me feel hopeful.

Hello infralugel!

I was in a relationship from 2012 to 2014 with a man whom I got engaged to. We were supposed to get married in 2014 but I called off the wedding 3 weeks prior because his mother was basically interfering and wanting to take control of the entire event. I did not want to break up but eventually, he did. He could not stand up for us to tell his mom what he wants and eventually, even supporting his mother’s act. It was utter shame, disappointment, heartbroken and (fill in any negative emotions here.) So, we parted ways.

It was not easy because I did love him. But sometimes in life, things may look so horridly terrible. But we just have to take the leap of faith and trust ourselves with the decision made.

And, I was so glad that he is not my husband. I met a wonderful man 3 months after what happened. So a breakup isn’t all that bad. we usually find so much hurt and pain because our mind keeps replaying the memories and our heart keeps feeling how we felt then. The breakup taught me so many things. It taught me to love myself. Be kind to myself and trust myself. Sometimes, things does not work out, it doesn’t mean the end – but only better things are coming your way. 🙂

So, take this time to explore and learn more about yourself. Date yourself. Love yourself. 😀

Om.

33 years ago I was engaged to marry the most beautiful woman. 4years we spent together. one day out of nowhere she said she was going to visit her grandmother for a couple weeks. 3months later after regular phone calls to her (she never called me) her grandmother answered the phone and called me by another name. that’s when we broke up. 2 years later she called me on the said she had moved back and wanted to reestablish our relationship she had a 1 year old child from the previous relationship. She persisted until I told her I had moved on and had no wish to be her friend or see her face to face and relive the pain again. I never really gave her much thought after that. I have been married to the same woman for 30 years we own a business together and are with each other 20+ hrs a day and love each other deeply. a couple weeks ago my brother brought her up and all of the hurt the physical pain and the regrets came back very intensely. I researched her history and found she had been married 3 times and had 2 other relationships on top of that and even knowing this I still was unable to release the pain. Day and night I struggled with wanting to contact her and tell her how she broke my heart and try to make her feel the pain I felt which thankfully I didn’t do. i found the more i focus on why i refused to accept her back in my life and how happy i am with my life now and what a disaster my life could have been, the more the pain passes away I truly believe i couldn’t have changed her she will always be looking for a reason to leave. remember first love has a permanent place in your subconscious when that pain resurfaces focus on your goals and the present please dont let the pain control you

Thank you Anita that brings clarity to situations I experienced when I was with her and helps
on my journey back to healing. rob

You are welcome, sweetrob. Courtney: what an interesting statement: “He metaphorically dropped a nuclear bomb on everything we created together.” I wonder what it is that each of you needed and wasn’t. And what you learned from that relationship.

anita

So you are saying, Courtney, that the ending of your five years relationship fell victim to Lyme Disease. Is that all it was?
anita

Dear Courtney:

These are two different things: having the misfortune of getting Lyme Disease (nasty ticks!) and being “co dependent”. These are not the same. Most women and men who are co-dependent are not physically sick. i will go to the other thread and see if you answered there. I will write to you there.
anita