Hi Jon,

It is very refreshing to read your post. You might wonder that I must be crazy, to be saying that I find your problem refreshing! Let me explain.

Understanding where each one is headed, which road we want to travel, is an eternal question that runs in all of our minds. You have the company of millions. Not all of us go through this at the same time though, since each one of us have our waves of “sense of achievement” and “where do i go from here” phases at different times. And the intensity in which we feel about those phases are also different.
What is amazing is that, you being only 18 years old, already have these questions in mind. Generally, teenagers spend little time pondering! You already have a head start in finding your niche. Often times, we feel callous in our ways, not because it is our nature. It is only because, we don’t connect to what is happening in our current situation.

Try these simple experiments:
1. Write down one hobby that makes you immensely happy. Think of ways of making this your profession, and what you would benefit out of this. Do you think it enables you to cover the critical areas for your existence and sustenance?
2. List down other talents you have and check with yourself how you can take this forward.
Repeat this exercise until you find you reconnect to yourself. You will suddenly feel many doors open for you.
And, one doesn’t have to give up school to try this. Take this up as a project for which you can spend little time everyday. School automatically progresses as you are more energetic in finding your niche and less worried about being stuck in your current situation.

I am sharing this with you, because, I am in a similar boat. Except that, it is not school, but it is job for me.
I am in the process of finding that one thing that i would love to pursue going forward and not spend the rest of my life working full time, weekends etc. I was in your shoes till very recently, and as i have started to think hard on my talents/abilities and how i can strengthen my positives instead of working hard on improving my limitations, I have started to feel more liberated in mind and more energetic. I still hang on to my job, since i am not ready to take that leap as yet. I am finding my way too.

Good luck on your journey!
Sarah

Jon,

1. Watch this and really listen to the words. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

2. Read this. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OODA_loop

In terms of the practical issues that need addressing in your life, the key is to DO Something. If you have a problem, it is unlikely to magically get better on its own…in fact things that need to be sorted out generally get worse if you don’t…sort them out. Weigh up your options, make a decision and go after it with all your energy and without looking back. ‘Something’ might be ‘go and live in a cave in the woods’ or it might be ‘go through the pain of changing course with any a negative impact this may have because it is the right thing to do’….it might be ‘keep doing what you are doing but change your attitude.’

3. Finally, may I say that you seem to recognize that you are among the luckiest of all beings that have ever lived on this planet (live in a democracy, healthy, plenty of money, plenty of food, good family, friends, not about to be enslaved or abused). Yet you are unhappy. Happiness is not out there waiting for you to find it in a particular course, job, relationship or car. Happiness is inside you and nothing that anyone or anything does can make you happy or sad unless you decide to allow it. I heartily recommend some meditation and some consideration of how you can change your attitudes and approach to ‘life’ to enable you to live it more happily. Learn to control your mind rather than be controlled by it and the attendant emotions. Try ‘How to solve our Human Problems by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso – you don’t have to become a Buddhist (I’m not) but the wisdom in a lot of what Buddhism says is revolutionary stuff!

4. Good Luck.