I grew up in a single parent household while most of my friends were quite wealthy. I remember in high school feeling like I didn’t fit in. I actually lied the whole of my high school life about where I lived because I was embarrassed.
Eventually I changed my circle of friends and upped my self esteem. I’m not embarrassed about my upbringing anymore and I even bring friends home now.
But I always feel like I’m not good enough. I got a job but it’s not a glamorous job and I always feel a bit embarrassed when I have to talk about it. Like it should be beneath me and I should be doing better.
I’m planning on moving out soon to a studio but I’m embarrassed about that. I’m slightly afraid that people will think I can’t afford a bigger place and judge me for that.
I know that this has nothing to do with other people. It’s all about me and me judging myself and feeling like I’m not good enough. Whether people judge me or not is irrelevant because I’ll always be passing judgment on myself. I thought it would stop but it doesn’t. I should be happy I’m financially able to get my own place at 21!! So many people aren’t. I thought it was just due to peer pressure growing up but now I realize that if not dealt with, these feelings will plague me my whole life, even if I’m super successful and swimming in money and all that.
How do I stop feeling like I’m not good enough? Has anyone gone through this?
**I feel like I should add that I’m not an unhappy person. I enjoy my life and despite everything I’ve just written, I am learning to be grateful for all what I have. I know it’s a lot. It’s just these feelings in the deep, dark recesses of my mind that I can’t seem to shake.