Dear xxx:

In Feb 2014, a bit more than four years ago, you posted (I am using whole words to replace the contractions you use): “I am posting here for the first time… maybe because I want to let go of the heavy baggage I am carrying… too heavy and I am drained.. tired”

It reads like you are still carrying that heavy baggage,  “I am just too weak.. tired and drained to type” (yesterday).

You wrote in 2014 about two relationships you had, both leaving you with much pain. You wrote about the first: “I did heal with time”- Maybe you stopped feeling pain about that relationship. Maybe you didn’t heal from that baggage you carried from the childhood you mentioned.

You wrote that work helped you, that in the process you became an workaholic. I wonder how is your work life, four years later.

Then you wrote about another relationship, this one was mostly online. He complained to you that a virtual relationship doesn’t work for him. So you traveled to physically spend time with him. But you were the one doing the talking, he didn’t. When you told him on the day you were to fly back home that there was no communication between the two of you, he said “some real harsh words” to you.

My input/ suggestion: it may be worth it to explore a bit what happened in those two relationships. There is probably a clue there as to why you are still lonely. If you would like to explore this, will you share here these two things:

1. What was that verbal spat you mentioned with the second man, the one that happened online, before you traveled to visit him?

2. What were some of the harsh words he told you?

anita