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Feeling very confused

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  • May 19, 2014 at 6:19 am #56538
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi Angie

    Either way, you are going to win if you look at things from my perspective.

    What does Angie want ? Truly want ? If you had only few more years to live, what would you want to do starting today ? Just do that.

    I am sorry for the suffering that your husband is going through. Look, we all make choices in life. Sometimes, we make choices without understanding their consequences. Good choices often do us good and bad choices = bad consequences. He is going through suffering for what he created at some stage. Unfortunately, he didn’t know any better than and he doesn’t know any better now. But you do ! You want happiness, you want peace and most importantly, you want love. There is nothing wrong with those wants.

    What is really important is that you can live with your decisions without fear, guilt, resentment or anger. Can you do that ? Do you feel Angie is worth enough to demand love, respect and care just like anyone else? If yes, your decision is made and it will bring you loads of positivity. If your decisions fill you up with negativity, then you are on the wrong path.

    Ask your higher self for guidance. I am sure you will be led to the right path soon enough.

    Sending you courage, compassion and loads of positive energy.

    Jasmine

    May 19, 2014 at 10:01 am #56551
    ZenHorse
    Participant

    Angie –

    Have you made any promises to your husband that you would not cheat on him? If so, you aren’t doing the right thing carrying on in the relationship with your ex. If you haven’t made any specific promises or agreements regarding other relationships than you should do what you feel is best for you. Understandably being in a sexless marriage is no fun, and listening to complaints doesn’t make the day any better either; however, the suffering for both you and your husband can stop – today, right now. You can choose to stop suffering as it truly is optional. We choose to suffer, to mull, to stew. It takes just as much energy to move our thoughts into a positive motion. Instead of “Ugh, he’s drinking soda again?” Think, “That’s his choice, I choose to continue to love him, I am not attached to changing him or making him be the person I want him to be. I choose to love him exactly as he is.” If you don’t love him, or choose to love him, then it is perhaps time for you to part from your husband – but if you choose to love him, then stop being attached to him being any certain way. Choosing to love means choosing every part of the person, that doesn’t mean you need to accept any consequences on your partner’s behalf, it can mean putting your arm out and holding distance while continuing to choose love. We can never demand love from another, it just doesn’t work that way – we can accept a person’s love when they choose to love us.

    It seems as though you are also suffering due to the relationship with your ex as well. The thoughts, the texts, the longing….all suffering, the short term reactions might feel good, but the morning you don’t receive the text that says “Good morning beautiful” – how will it feel? Will it be agony and wondering until you hear something, know something? Suffering – it’s optional.

    If I were in your situation I would think about my agreements and promises made. Think about the type of suffering I am enduring, and opt for a life of concious, logical decisions not based on emotions and I would stop having any attachment to the way things should be – rather create positivity and light with every word, every action and every thought.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by ZenHorse.
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