I’ve gone through a trying year. My long term relationship ended and I lost my best friend and the comfort that came along with it. However, I gained many new friends and my life was abundant with true and loving friendship. My heart felt so full. Unfortunately, my family life came crashing down and I’ve had to mostly separate myself from the family I used to be very close to because they were bringing me down so much. Luckily, I had my friends to get me through it.

I’ve now come out on the other side of that for the most part (unfortunately my family issues haven’t been fixed, but I am more accepting and removed). Unfortunately, I feel like all of my friendships have faded a bit. I’m not sure at this is the effect of me being too negative and dependent while going through a hard time, or just the natural wave of things.

A few of those close friends got into relationships and seem to be very occupied with that. I understand how that goes, but I feel a bit abandoned. Other ones have faded naturally a bit, and one that I really value has felt tense for the past few months. It hurts me.

I read a blog post on here about how you have to understand that fundamentally, friendships are just serving each other. Even when you are being there for a friend, it still fulfills some sort of needs in yourself. I think I just feel like all of my friends lives are so full, no one really has a need for me anymore. That coupled with the lack of communication with my family, and I feel very alone.

It is nice to be able to reconnect with myself, and I’m trying to find positives out of it. I’ve been exercising a lot and keeping my place tidier than usual (usually when I’m busy running from social thing to social thing, I don’t stop to pick up as much).

I also read the quote “the tighter you squeeze, the less you have.” I think my mindset has changed a bit ever since I noticed distance between my friends and I, and while they probably think everything is normal and fine, I’m on my end wishing they’d text back faster or call me more. I feel like the tighter I squeeze and the harder I think about it, the more the divide grows.

Any advice on what to do? I know this is a normal part of growing up. I’m only 23 by the way. I know life changes and people grow apart and back together. How have you gone through these patches of aloneness?