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Feeling Unworthy of Love

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  • #81709
    Glet
    Participant

    Last night I broke up with a guy that I am crazy about…
    not because my feelings have changed,not because he cheated and not because he did anything..
    but because I can’t don’t feel like I deserve him…
    in my eyes he is perfection which makes me question why he would choose to put up with my constant insecurities,fears and even nagging…
    I know he cares for me deeply but I don’t know how to truly accept that…

    this isn’t the first time that this is happening..I’ve pushed so many people away..people that truly cared because I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop..waiting for something to happen that will make them leave…
    I feel I am too complicated and that people will be much better off without me..

    but this time for the first time I really don’t want to do that with this guy..i don’t want to lose him but I can’t just go back to him before fixing this problem otherwise we will be having the same issues each time

    so please help me..
    how do I accept his love?
    I want to believe that I can be loved…
    how do I stop pushing people away?

    #81711
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Glet:

    you wrote that in your eyes “he is perfection.” I sugest you get to know his (or any person who you consider perfect) imperfections, his insecurities, fears and such. There will be so many imperfections to notice, examine, help him examine that you will forget all about yours… for a while, at times. You asked how to accept his love- by viewing his imperfections, your imperfections, working- through commuincation with him- about accepting your and his imperfections.
    anita

    #81760
    Glet
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    thank you for replying..
    well maybe I should have used a different word instead of perfect…
    I do know his insecurities,his fears and they are even things about him that I don’t always like but most of the times and in big situations..he always does the right thing..takes the right direction decisions..i fell in love with his maturity and his ability to stay calm all times…
    back to me…
    I did talk to him about my insecurities,he knows about my past and I have known him for 2years…he understands me but the problem is each time we have a misunderstanding or sometimes when I just have one of my moments,I would get scared..i feel so vulnerable with him cause he knows so much about me..i freak out and I try to push him away…i don’t want to keep doing that..i want to be able to just accept that he loves me despite knowing about my insecurities and fears….and not worry all the time that he will leave

    #81763
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Deasr Glet:

    What is it about you that you believe is unlovable? When did you start believing that? In what interactions/ with whom were you interacting when you formed this belief, that you are unlovable?

    anita

    #81764
    Glet
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    perhaps you don’t remember I’ve talked to you before about my insecurities…it was on another thread…so maybe I can go and continue this on that thread..will that be okay?

    #81765
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Glet:

    Definitely-
    anita

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