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Feeling trapped in school, should I just get up and go?

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • November 30, 2015 at 2:53 pm #88565
    bailsafe
    Participant

    Hi folks. I’m 19 and a junior (3rd year) in college studying Digital Media Production. I’m only in college because a) my parents expected it of me, and b) I wanted to teach overseas and felt a degree would be an easy in.

    I’m having doubts now, however. I didn’t come to college to study anything specific, only to get a degree, but I don’t feel like finishing college would be beneficial to me. The more I stay, the more I feel trapped in my curriculum and student loan debt, as if I’m in a bubble and have no drive to continue down this path.

    What I want to do at this point is finish the semester, stop attending my college and work for a while to pay off student loan and credit card debt, and possibly work for a TEFL certificate . After that, I’d like to procure a job in China to teach English and see where that takes me (I’ve already found multiple employers that don’t require a degree).

    I’m very worried about leaving my girlfriend though. We’ve grown very attached over the past few months, but from some events in her past dealing with parents’ divorce and whatnot, I don’t know if I could bring myself to leave her. She’s mentioned that she’ll support whatever decision I make and I’ve made it very clear that I don’t ever intend to abandon her or lose contact, and she’ll still remain my best friend.

    I don’t know if this is realistic or not, but media production nor anything I’ve studied here isn’t benefiting me or contributing to my real dreams. I’ve already changed majors twice and switched universities.

    I’d love some advice on the matter and can provide more information if you need it. Thank you.

    November 30, 2015 at 3:10 pm #88569
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Hello bailsafe,
    Have you watched the movie Sliding Doors? It’s about a woman’s life (Gwyneth Paltrow) who misses the train in a split-second and the story of what happens; but then there’s also a parallel story of when she doesn’t miss the train and then what happens.

    Wouldn’t it be cool to see our lives in that way – what would happen if I make this decision now versus a different one? But the way life operates is that it gives you choices – these choices are yours to make! If you’re willing to go along on the adventure to see where it will lead you, go with the one that causes the most excitement in your heart! If you feel like you’d regret your choices later in life then go with the safer options.

    “How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives.” – one of my favorite quotes from Annie Dillard. I hope this helps!

    November 30, 2015 at 3:25 pm #88573
    bailsafe
    Participant

    Thank you; I’m very willing to go along, and very inspired to do so! I have so many connections here in the States, though, including my girlfriend and many childhood friends. I don’t know how to handle severing these physical relationships and am worried about the repercussions of doing so. Mostly my girlfriend, as described above, I don’t know how to handle the situation there.

    November 30, 2015 at 3:45 pm #88579
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Then maybe start small? Rather than thinking it as a “severance” and making a big move to China once and for all, start with smaller separations? See how they react? See how you feel about their reactions? See if there’s anything you can do to help them while you make your choices?

    November 30, 2015 at 4:16 pm #88583
    bailsafe
    Participant

    Thank you. I feel better about the situation now that she’s calmed down from the initial anxiety of such a big decision. I’m confident we’ll be able to work something out to keep in contact and stay the best of friends. The further I move down my current path, the less fulfilled I feel, so I think it might be time to move on. Thank you very much for your advice.

    December 1, 2015 at 4:08 pm #88679
    Saiisha
    Participant

    That’s awesome bailsafe – and even better that you’ll be able to work something out while you still pursue your dreams… Good Luck!!

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