Dear Greengirl,

Having been in several online long distance relationships, both in an of out the country, unfortunateky, they often, do not work out. It is very easy to start bonding with someone online, it happened to me many times. Most often out of lonliness, or just enjoying the attention. I would tell myself It would go nowhere, however, it took on a life of its own, and after several weeks of “chatting” an emotional bond was occurring. Your mind plays tricks on you, thinking it is real..when it it not. It is virtual..internet..sort of like an online fantasy and love affair.

You were not rejected. It happens all the time. Men who flirt with you, send you cute emoji’s, I guarantee, are also doing this with other women as well. But we like to think we “are the only one” because we feel we “are falling for them”. For me, the chatting turned into video chatting everyday. I always got hurt. I got scamned, catphished, found out one of the men were in an arranged marriage, and so on..but I was always left with a broken heart, yet I would heal..and into the next guy who was attractive and “friend me”. Even after I swore “never again”

I deleted my profiles off social media. It is too easy (at least for me) to get caught up with this and it is all make believe. We don’t know who these men really are. So many lie. Them they ghost you, after telling you the most beautiful things ever. You see them the next day online chatting with another woman, and so it goes. This is why I stay away from men online. It’s not worth it. Many lie. Many are married and say they are single. Many are chatting, while their girlfriend is sleeping, it’s all just fantasy. Don’t take it personally. Best to meet a man in person for coffee or casually somewhere, meet as friends, take it slow. This way you won’t get anxious, because you are going at your own pace, and they don’t feel rushed. Feel free to post with your thoughts. x