Feeling Lost on My Career Path

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This topic has 9 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 9 months ago by Michelle.

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November 4, 2015 at 5:26 pm #86767

starrynightdreams
Participant

I got a degree in English. Maybe that was my first mistake. I can’t help but look back and wonder if I should have studied accounting, or engineering, or counseling, or computer science. I’m not even sure I would want to do any of those things, but at least those majors lead to specific career paths.

I wanted to get a job that I can enjoy doing, at least a little bit. But a lot of people sort of sneer at this. They say to suck it up because most people don’t like their jobs, but need the money. I can understand that. But it’s weird to go from being told to follow your passion, to growing up and being treated like wanting work you’ll enjoy is a silly idea.

Since I don’t like working with people in large groups, teaching doesn’t interest me. There are other jobs I can apply for, but I feel intimidated by them. I’ve had a few jobs here and there, but this is my first time out of school. I feel like I want to start small with whatever job I get. But I also wish there was a something I genuinely wanted to apply for.

Looking back on my college experience, I realize that I got exactly what I wanted out of it at the time. I wanted enrichment, to grow in my craft, to meet interesting people, and to study something I loved. I wanted to learn for the sake of learning. I think wanting that can be both wise and naïve.

There’s so many things I want to do. I want to write novels and movies, and maybe even TV scripts. I want to perform and create art. I want to volunteer at soup kitchens and animal shelters. It’s just that none of the work that excites me is motivated by money.

I don’t usually dwell on the past, but maybe I just didn’t think this job thing through. I have other friends who are pursuing the arts, and others who are becoming doctors or engineers. I have friends who pursued tech careers, but then changed their minds soon after they started working.

It seems that getting our lives together is difficult, no matter what we studied. I’m trying not to be so hard on myself because I know I’m not alone. But I’m also scared.

November 4, 2015 at 6:21 pm #86771

Anonymous
Guest

Dear starrynightdreams:

You wrote that people told you to follow your passion and then people told you to work so to make money, never mind passion.

First lesson: people say things, people write things- listen and read critically, so much that is said and written is simply wrong, a matter of ineffective social conditioning or what is the trend of the time. And that is so in every area I can think of.

If you take what people say on face value you will be lost forever….

Find for yourself what is true. Don’t look for the answers of the IMPORTANT questions from other people.

I was … startled by this life lesson only recently. I would have saved much, much LOST time in my life if I learned this lesson earlier. I hope you will. Please post if you have thoughts about this.

anita

November 4, 2015 at 8:07 pm #86775

starrynightdreams
Participant

That’s true. Other people will not always have the right answers, but I also find it hard to mato my own choices.

There are people in my life who support my passions and believe in me, but I still feel impatient and just want my life to be at a more sstable place. So in a lot of ways I’m telling myself to focus more on money since that’s ssensible. So I notice other people saying those
things and tend to forget the support.

November 5, 2015 at 7:09 am #86788

Anonymous
Guest

Dear starrynightdreams:

I think peace of mind, well being comes when you do what is right for you, when you follow your own values, be it passion or financial stability or both, somehow. You do what you believe is right, following calm contemplation. You can read or hear others’ views and input but not react to those. Take the time when you are calm to sit with yourself and contemplate, get in touch with the answers inside you. If you don’t have the answers to the big questions right now, such as work, get in touch with the small questions all through the day, learn about your answers to the small questions during the day and you will build the confidence in yourself to be able, over time, to see the answers in you to the big questions.

anita

November 5, 2015 at 8:30 am #86793

Saiisha
Participant

Hi starrynightdreams!
You remind me of myself when I was younger 🙂
A few things come to mind when I read your post – I think you have a strong sense of yourself, what you like (and don’t like), and the type of life you want to live. These are great guiding lights for you to follow.

It really is tough to know what’s the right path for you right now, not knowing where that path will lead. But what I can tell you is that no matter what path you take, if you do it from a place of what feels right within you, you can’t go wrong. If you do go wrong, you’ll still learn the important lessons.

There are really a lot of options out in the world – even if you start out with a low-paying job, as you learn more about yourself, you can actually create the job / career / life that you want to live.

If you’re really feeling lost and want to have a phone conversation with someone, email me, and we can set something up – I’d love to help! saiisha@nestintheforest.com

Good Luck!!

January 27, 2016 at 3:31 am #93923
janssen
Participant
@starrynightdreams
@saiisha

I feel the same way with finding a career path. I went back to school over five years ago to pursue a career in physical therapy asst. i didn’t get in my first application but i will be trying again this fall. In the meantime, I still struggled the thoughts of “if this is the right path for me?” I may not love this career but i know i will end up liking it for a while. There were many thoughts in my head where I wanted to pursue certain paths such as photography, writing, or something interesting to me. Everyone I know has a career already but the question is do they love it? It’s even difficult for me to know what i want because i have depression and anxiety. I recently quit a job that i hated for over a decade and i have this new job which i also don’t like and i don’t know how long i can last. I feel stuck. I feel lost. And i have no family or friends to talk to or help.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 10 months ago by janssen.
January 27, 2016 at 7:40 am #93928

Aislynn
Participant

starrynightdreams,

This post could have been written by me. I say this because I am English major as well, and I am all ready having doubts about it. I fear not being able to get a good job, and whether I want to admit it or not, I realize the stares I get when I say I am an English major. People simply do not think it is something you can make a living off of.

“There’s so many things I want to do. I want to write novels and movies, and maybe even TV scripts. I want to perform and create art. I want to volunteer at soup kitchens and animal shelters. It’s just that none of the work that excites me is motivated by money.” This sounds just like me. I wish I could spend my time helping others, but alas it is not possible, or how else could I support myself?

I am barely halfway to getting my degree, so I am seriously contemplating changing my major. It’s not that I don’t love English, I do, and I love reading and writing. However, I worry about making a living.

What kind of jobs are you applying for? I’ve heard that there are various different job opportunities for English majors. I googled, “jobs for English majors” and I got quite a few interesting ones. However, I am not so sure how exactly some of them are the right fit for English majors since they would require other studies.

January 27, 2016 at 9:17 am #93945

Violet
Participant

starrynightdreams,

Your school counselor has tons of information about career prospects and so forth. They are usually really helpful.

February 17, 2016 at 1:12 am #96254

Sarah
Participant

Hey,
I understand that you are not able to take the right decisions for your life and end up regretting the ones you have made. There is always such issues faced by everyone but glad you sort out your likes and dislikes clearly. This is the right time for you to think about your decisions cause whatever path you take now will only continue being your journey. I would like to suggest an online course will give you tips and motivational thoughts for taking decisions in life for both personal and career. If is really useful and knowledgeable. One of my favourite motivational speakers has offered this online course. I am sure it will be the best. here take a look at it https://www.classle.net/#!/online/course/life-coaching-becoming-your-best-self/coursehome/
I guess the course starts from Feb 26th so register and be ready.

Hope this helps you and all the best for a happy choice 🙂

February 21, 2016 at 9:37 am #96654

Michelle
Participant

Anita makes an important point – it is not important what other people think is sensible or ‘right’ for you – only you know that – just that sometimes it is harder to know what that is than at other times.

I think a lot of people, myself included, have struggled and still do with how to have a job they are passionate about and worry about making a wrong choice or decision. Where I’ve got to, is that you can only do what you believe is best with the knowledge you currently have. The more things you try, the more you find out if you do or don’t like them. Often, you will love them for a while and then you will change and something else will be your inspiration. Everything we do teaches us something one way or another – nothing is ‘wasted time’ if we have tried something.

Practically – why do you feel you can’t combine both? Think about writing and volunteering in your spare time, funded by a paid job that will let you follow these passions without worrying so much about supporting yourself. Then when the writing takes off you can switch more time to it, feeling happier to do so. I’m talking from experience – e.g. my partner and I self-built our home from scratch in our spare time from our well-paid but not our passion jobs. There’s all kinds of ways to get a balanced & happy life that works for you 🙂 Personally I think hoping to hit on the one perfect job by thinking it through has seen a lot of people get stuck – don’t be afraid of trying things out and seeing where they go…
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