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Feeling lost and confused, but missing him

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • January 19, 2017 at 10:27 am #125724
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear meggosaurus:

    You are “feeling lost and confused” currently. If you contact him and he rejects you, or ignores you, you will feel hurt and distressed, maybe less lost-and-confused. Are you willing to take this chance?

    anita

    January 19, 2017 at 3:30 pm #125740
    Megg
    Participant

    See, that’s where I’m at a loss. I don’t know if he his worth gettig hurt over again. I care about him a lot, but I feel like if he wanted me in his life he would try to contact me. But on the other hand, I feel like my actions made him feel like I didn’t want to have anything to do with him either. So I don’t feel like he would reach out even if he wanted to.

    January 19, 2017 at 5:52 pm #125746
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear meggosaurus:

    From what I understand, if I was you, I wouldn’t reach out to him. Not a promising prospect, based on his behavior in the past. What you need, feels to me, is a man who is very interested in you. Don’t need the anxiety of “he-wants-me — he-wants-me-not” – this is very difficult on the nerves.

    anita

    January 19, 2017 at 6:22 pm #125747
    Kelly
    Participant

    Dear megalosaurus,

    Don’t do it. Don’t reach out to him. It will only cause you pain and a step backward from where you are. I’m in a similar situation and have found myself on this website reading article after article crying my eyes out about how to move on, and let it go, and overcoming that miserable, awful gut wrenching sense of abandonment! (I realize I have abandonment issues most likely stemming from childhood.) and the only thing I can say is I’m envious of you having gone three months without contacting him! I can’t wait to epreach that milestone! (My ex-BF just stopped talking to me on New Years and I had to confront him at his house just to get him to tell me he doesn’t want a relationship and he’s 48 years old!”) My point is you are not responsible for his feelings. Only for yours. And you owe it to yourself to find someone worthy of your attention. We all are.

    January 19, 2017 at 6:58 pm #125750
    Megg
    Participant

    Dear anita and kemi829

    I have come to realized over the corse of reading your advice. That all I was for him was just something to fill the hole that his divorce had made. And I totally agree I deserve better than that. I do not plan to speak to him again. Thank you both so much for your helpful advice.

    January 20, 2017 at 2:08 am #125767
    Poppyxo
    Participant

    Well done Meggosaurus.

    This man needs to heal, take it from me, 6 months into healing from my ex boyfriend and after going back and forward with him, undecided f what I want I have come to the conclusion that regardless if I still want a relationship with him, I come first, and that means taking as much time as I need to heal. A marriage carries a lot more than a relationship so I would imagine it’d take a lot longer.
    He was probably seeking a relationship to cover up his own pain, and you’re not the right person for this.
    Work on yourself as well in this time and try & get to the bottom of your anxiety (this is usually worries about the future)

    January 20, 2017 at 7:07 am #125780
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear meggosaurus:

    You are welcome. I believe you are doing the right thing for yourself.
    anita

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