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Feeling Lost, Again

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  • #49487
    MysteryA
    Participant

    Everyone has the tendency to feel down by the winter blues, but for me I feel it may be much more than that. I feel lost. I know that no one completely knows who they are, but can at least accept and work on fulfilling their dream of who they wish to become.

    At the start of a new year, I felt enthusiastic. I wrote out my goals, reflected on the past year, and was looking ahead to what 2014 may bring to me. Yet, with January being nearly over, I have never felt so off and confused. 2013 was a year of extreme change for me, filled with self discoveries, new opportunities, romance, and heartbreak. I had a life changing event happen in June, where after completing my BS degree, I was forced to leave my house. My family turned their back on me and I was homeless for nearly three months, couch surfing with the help of friends and family. Finally, being taken in to live at my grandma’s I felt a sense of stability, yet isolated. My friends that were there for me through dark times, seemed no longer interested in hanging out. I accepted this as an awakening that I was out growing this group of friends. I no longer could connect with them. With the goal of making new friendships, it has been hard an unsuccessful. I have always had problems with making friends, feeling confident and not having anxiety when meeting new people.
    Body image has been a huge demon for me to battle with. After suffering from anorexia two years ago, and losing over 30 pounds in a short time period (having never been fat), I am still struggling with my body today. I have gained back weight, being about 130 at 5’9″, but still struggle with my view of food. I often binge eat and then self sabotage after. I did that today and feel terrible…

    Graduating back in spring, I had goals and aspirations. I had a grasp on WHO I WAS. I knew what I believed in, what my passions were, and did things that made me happy. I was passionate about nutrition, mental health (psyc major), exercise, holistic living, traveling, and exploring my creative passions. I would be motivated to make the most of my day. But since the start of the new year, I have been anything but that. I often work, and when I do no work at jobs I do not like, I hibernate. I rarely workout anymore, no yoga, not eating as healthy as before (vegetarian), no longer journaling, drawing or singing.

    I know I am in control of my own happiness, but I feel stuck in quicksand. The further I analyze and focus on what is wrong, I feel i pull further into the depths of depression. Although I live with a loving roommate (grams) and have a loving boyfriend (who I see 1-2x week), I feel hopeless and lost. I find it hard to enjoy things I once did, be present in the moment, and just simply enjoy life.

    I would love some inspiration, guidance, or just to know I am not the only one who has felt this way in the strange limbo post-graduation and journey to self-discovery.

    Love~

    #49493
    Andrea
    Participant

    Oh dear i feel the same ways as you do in certain issues such as education and confidence. I pretty much feel kind of frustrated quite a lot since i havent finished college yet and not working on what i love just cause i have bills to pay. But you know what. As hard as it is, embrace yourself, embrace everything that happens to you as a challenge(sort of like a videogame) and try hard to accept them and acomplishing them. Life is hard but its beautiful for the ones that try to find a light in the middle of the darkness. See the light in your issues and follow it. Live today with joy and make sure that everything thats happens always leave us a teaching wort discovering.
    Hope that helps somehow 🙂 goodluck (:

    #49495
    dahiro
    Participant

    i know we might not see eye to eye because i’m a teenager in high school and you’re, well, college but i’m sort of going through the whole anxiety thing. i’ve been suffering with anxiety a lot these past few years and it’s only getting a little better now. i mean it’s sort of a miracle that i’m actually talking to someone i don’t know right now. for me, it helps to do things i love. drawing, reading, singing, acting, playing music and all that whatnot because when you do things you love, all that matters is doing that one thing you love to do. or those many things you love to do. the fact that I’m not everybody’s favorite or i’m not the prettiest, funniest, most outgoing or whatever doesn’t matter and i feel like…i dunno…i’m awesome. you said you like journaling, drawing, and singing. you should keep doing those things. especially if you’re good at them because it would be a waste if you didn’t. and if you feel like you aren’t good at them, try improving or finding something that you are good at. if you feel yourself making excuses to not do them then force yourself to get up.
    I understand you’ve gone through a lot in your life. I can’t say my life has been a smooth ride either. my mom and dad are separated, my sister ran away from home, i’ve been bullied almost my whole life, and that’s probably not even half of it. I’m not saying my life was any harder than yours. you’ve obviously suffered a lot. but what i’m saying is you can’t base you today on you from the past. you can’t let past struggles take over your life and ruin any opportunities that will come a knockin at the door. You gotta learn to love yourself so that you don’t let yourself feel like you’re worth nothing. You have to remember that whenever you fall, you will stay down unless you pick yourself up and keep on moving. Sorry if i’m being super cheesy. Google does that to you.
    Also, remember that the only reason you’ll ever feel like there is no hope in the future is because you’re not looking at all the possible futures you could have.

    I hope this helped. Best of luck to both you and me. Have an awesome day, night, today, tomorrow, and future.

    #49547
    jelfi
    Participant

    Since the beginning of new year, I’ve been feeling really tired and demotivated, bored, almost apathetic. Having no motivation to do the things I like or to get myself together, finding it all pointless. Not enough energy or strenght. Not exercising regularly like I used to and eating less healthily.

    So yea, if that makes you feel better, you aren’t the only one feeling that way. Maybe it’s some kind of “new year’s depression”. But I’m sure you are strong and you will get over it soon :3

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by jelfi.
    #49559
    franchesca
    Participant

    It has not even been a full month in the year and I have hit rock bottom with my life I find myself crying in class work even buying something. I feel so lost and I just signed up to this to see if I can find something or someone to vent to. Every new year I feel depressed and I do not know why but this new year I was given a big motive to find out that my partner of 5 years has a child outside of our relationship which i was not aware of till now.I never would of though that it would hurt me this much but the anger i feel destroyed and let down and talking to my friends does not help nobody knows what I am going through. I feel like the world has fallen over me and i can not do not one thing about i want to to go climb the highest mountain and just scream who does life have to be so cruel I really need someone to talk to because I find myself loosing myself in all of this I cant eat nor think straight in days and i feel terrible this anger has taken over me,

    #49649
    StraightNoChaser
    Participant

    Hi Ashley,

    Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The best advice I can give is to take everything one day at a time and one step at a time. You have a lot to be proud of and that hasn’t changed.

    It’s hard to get back in the mindset where you feel centred and balanced but little things can make a difference. Music helps me. I will go on a music spree and get super motivated(depending on the song).

    Walk through a bookstore, you don’t have to buy anything but browse. Looking at the magazine rack sometimes inspires me. I usually feel so disconnected that seeing a bit of pop culture (or any culture) brings me back.

    I have a tendency to be a loner especially in the winter. I get sucked into my own world.

    Ill watch an old episode of my favourite show. If you can remember any movie you watched, or song you heard, book you read when you were at your best it may trigger an emotional response. Some songs I hear remind me of being carefree ex. the movie disturbia always reminds me of that wonderful transition between spring and summer. And I remember being happy and blah blah blah.

    Hope that helps 🙂

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