Dear Libelulla:

I am glad you made good progress that evening! I noticed before, you kind-if diagnosed yourself as narcissistic, a negative connotation word, but your need to be approved of by people is natural and has been intense only because you were lacking approval early in your life. I hope the term narcissism as you apply it to yourself is not negative.

The term narcissistic mother is used by many to indicate an abusive mother who does not SEE her child, does not attend to the child’s needs and often forces herself on the child, demanding the child’s exclusive attention. That is negative. But your need for that woman’s approval does not indicate … bad behavior, it is not abusive to another directly.

I hope you are not “criminalizing” the natural need you have for approval by calling it a bad name…?

anita

Dear Libelulla:

“Envious of (yourself)”- unclear to me. Seeking approval then rendered you inauthentic, over analytical. You persecuted yourself way too long. It has been a long process for me, realizing at all that I was persecuting myself and it is only recently that I do it less. It is a process. Have patience. Progress every day, like the progress you did at the Christmas party. Every time you make such progress, you heal. More and more healing and over time, your inner persecutor loses power.
anita