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Feeling less than my bf

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  • June 21, 2020 at 6:34 am #359083
    ToreiSan
    Participant

    I love my bf (and yes I’m a bi male) He’s so capable, good looking, and accomplished. He’s also crazy in love with me, he appreciates me, and tries to find every single way to up lift me. (He knows I have self esteem issues)

    Though, his praise seems  empty to me.  Like lies. “Oh baby, you’re the best! You’re the sweetest, most beautiful,  smartest, etc.” But how is that true?

    Sweetest? Why? Because I’m affectionate? I know what he’s had in the past. He’s been in love before with guys who showed him the world. How could compare to that? I’m just some young black kid that can’t even financially support himself.

    Most beautiful? Don’t kid me. I’m puny! sure I’m athletic,  but I’m confused as to why he would find my stringy arms “sexy”. My bf may be more than twice my senior (I’m 25, he’s 59) he’s, still way hotter than I’d ever dream to be. Blue eyes, fair skin, short and fit. Guys and women are always staring at him. 2 times guys have flirted with him in front of me. But it never happened to me.

    Intelligent? Please! I just know a bunch of trivial shit. Okay,  I taught myself to speak Spanish, Japanese, and some German, and Portuguese. So what? With time anyone can do that. He’s learned a couple from studying in Europe. I draw, sing and teach myself various skills.  Everyone does that. He knows way more intelligent people than me.

    He constantly tries to tell me we’re equals, but the facts are clear as day: He he’s more successfully, good looking, intelligent, capable then I could ever even imagine. Damn nearperfect.  And me? I’m just some lost, scared little boy unprepared to deal with life.

    June 21, 2020 at 10:07 am #359149
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear ToreiSan:

    You wrote about your boyfriend: “He’s so capable, good looking, and accomplished.. I’m just some young black kid that can’t even financially support himself…Most beautiful? Don’t kid me. I’m puny.. stringy arms.. I just know a bunch of trivial sh**.. anyone can do (what I do).. he’s more successful, good looking, intelligent.. Damn near perfect. And me? I’m just some lost, scared little boy unprepared to deal with life”-

    – You can prepare yourself to deal with life starting today and every day, observe people and situations, learn, and experiment with doing things in better ways, ways that will bring you better results. For example, regarding what I quoted above, it is better, when communicating with people in your personal life, to not put yourself down, to not communicate to them that you are inferior to them. Many people will take advantage of such sharing and treat you as if you were indeed inferior to them and to others.

    You can learn how to share these feelings in a self respectful way, instead of in a self deprecating way.

    One more thing: you are 25, he is 59. Do you not know how attractive youth is to older people, and did you notice that aging does show on a person’s body, no matter how capable and accomplished they are.. skin sagging and such?

    anita

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by .
    June 22, 2020 at 3:59 pm #359261
    Anonymous
    Guest

    testing

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