i was seeing a guy briefly over a year ago, we went on some great dates and had a lot of fun together but then he ghosted. i developed strong feelings for him and after a couple of months he did apologise and ask me to forgive him and said his head was in the sand /not the right place.

After about 5 months of the ghosting we did meet up again, he took me out for lunch and then again that was the last time i saw him however he would occasionally ‘like ‘ my pics on instagram and he contacted me again months later.

Long story short it has been over a year since we saw each other, and then just last week he asked me if i would like to meet up for a drink, i was a bit unsure because of the flakiness hes previously shown but because of my feelings for him i wanted to see him again and see if things might be different.

We had a really nice fun evening, just drinks and chatting about our careers and life etc…. he got all deep on me and started asking me some questions which did make me feel vulnerable opening up to him as he said i do come across a bit closed off which i explained is just my emotional barrier to prevent me getting hurt, when i asked him what he wanted he said connection and that he wanted my heart,,, he had never said this before and he seemed to then act really affectionate and loving towards me and said he’d missed me.

We ended up kissing and he walked me home to my door, told me he wanted to see me next week. He then messaged me a little the next day and re followed me on my instagram accounts after id taken him off them previously when we had stopped talking.

Then he went quiet again, after 3 days of not hearing from him i felt a bit confused, so i reached out asking how his week was and he literally said ‘ all good, look, i dont see a future with you so thought its best to say now ‘ …

This has totally confused me as he opened up to me on the friday evening, asking me for my heart, saying he wanted connection and wanted to see me again etc, when i said i was really confused and wasnt expecting that , he just seemed super cold, saying he saw no future with me, he wants something meaningful but just doesn’t have feelings for me like that…

i told him i wanted something meaningful too and would of given him that if he gave me a chance, he said he didnt want to give me a chance and that he is dating several people at the moment.

I just said to him to take me off all his social media if thats how he really feels and that he shouldnt go round telling girls he wants their heart and kissing them, leading them on and because i was really upset i ended the conversation saying i hope someday someone hurts you like you have hurt others/

I havent been able to stop thinking about the whole situation, and feel so anxious and sick, i just dont understand any of it, i know in my head i should just ‘get over it ‘ when hes been so harsh, but i just dont understand the sudden change of mind, from being so emotionally deep which he never has before, to then saying he sees no future with me in a matter of days, why would someone behave like that, and i cant understand it, he seemed so off and cold .

has anyone experienced a similar situation and how do you get over feeling so much anxiety and pain for someone you really care about who has acted like this? Is it just games hes playing, or will he try and come back after a while… i am just so confused and hurt.