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Feeling jealous of my best friend

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  • February 21, 2017 at 7:58 am #128667
    Asterix
    Participant

    I think if you want to feel, “This is exactly what I’ve been wishing for” then you should focus all your attention on those things that you are wishing for, all those things that you want, and stop letting your best friend’s life take up rent in your head. Focus on you, not her. Think of ways you can achieve what you want. Then go for it. Jealousy is normal, so it’s okay to feel that way. Just don’t obsess over it – obsess over you because you deserve all the things you want in life. When you start focusing on you, things will get better.

    February 21, 2017 at 10:36 am #128691
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dreaming715:

    Been there. Your share is so honest, simple to understand, direct, no make-believe thinking, makes me appreciate it very much.

    Honor your feeling of jealousy, it means you want a better life for yourself. You want a better life. You can let her know how you feel, stated honestly (like you did on this thread), is part of honest communication.

    When I lived in the tiniest studio apartment imaginable I used to look into the houses of people (walking on a residential street, seeing through the uncovered windows… not trespassing, mind you)- and think: how wonderful other people have it. How wonderful to have a kitchen, a living room, oh, how I wish, oh how I wish I lived in that house… or that house.

    I now know better than to assume.

    anita

    February 23, 2017 at 10:22 am #129005
    dreaming715
    Participant

    Thank you both for your responses. A couple of take-aways: 1) Compare and despair. Comparing my life to another person’s life is virtually pointless. Yes, it can give you ideas for the things you personally long for… but beyond that comparing isn’t going to change anything.
    2) Anita, you’re right that things aren’t always as they seem. You can hypothetically live in the biggest, most beautiful house and be married and be miserable.

    February 23, 2017 at 12:41 pm #129061
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dreaming715:

    Not only hypothetically, but in practice. How many wealthy people are on anti-depressants? How many wealthy, famous people committed suicide (And how many wealthy, famous people are depressed and don’t take their lives)? .. and what about my neighbor who lives in a 3-4 story house with incredible view and lots of acreage- she doesn’t feel welcome (by her husband) in her own home, seems as distressed as can be, on a regular basis…

    anita

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