I’ve known my best friend for 10 years now and we’ve been roommates for several of those years. I’m grateful to have her in my life, but lately I’ve been feeling jealous of her.

For example, we’re moving out of our shared apartment and I’m moving alone into an older studio apartment (my boyfriend wasn’t ready for us to move in together). My friend is moving into a “luxury” apartment complex with her boyfriend, equipped with a pool and fitness room onsite.

She just accepted a new job where she makes $20,000/year more than I do. I’ve applied for almost 10 new jobs recently and no luck.

Today we went furniture shopping and she bought a new bedroom set for her and her boyfriend’s new place that cost $1,200. She happily signed the paperwork. I wanted to buy a couch for $500 (because I literally don’t have one), and I was approved for financing with the absolute worst interest rate, a big down payment, etc…

I almost can’t accept that this is my life sometimes. This is usually the part where people invalidate my feelings and say, “Just be grateful you’re not dying or homeless or starving, etc…”

I’m incredibly grateful for that… but I’m not where I want to be in life. I’ve been working hard. I graduated college. I work hard at my job. I’m applying for higher paying jobs. I understand my boyfriend isn’t ready to move in and I have to respect that. I’m just so unbelievably frustrated right now.

Just once I want to have that amazing, happy feeling of, “This is exactly what I’ve been wishing for.”